76 | A Tale of Two Cities (3)
Am I a very troublesome person?
Gu Mingxi and Li Han had a great big quarrel regarding quitting school. As more time pa.s.sed, Gu Mingxi became more anxious. The college entrance exam wasn’t a simple matter, and he would have to study a lot for it. He would also have to go back to E City to register for the exam, which means that he would have to complete his withdrawal process by spring.
But quitting school required the agreement of the head of the family. Gu Mingxi had a difficult time convincing Li Han. She’d already thrown very ugly words at him, like selfish, lacking filial piety, not knowing one’s place, ungrateful, too great (“unreasonable”) aspirations…
Gu Mingxi was stressed from things he’d never experienced before, and during all this, Li Han even did some excessive and undue things. In order to dispel Gu Mingxi’s idea, when he asked for her help putting on a long-sleeved s.h.i.+rt, she refused.
Unable to put on his thermal underpants, Gu Mingxi ended up leaving for school in a single pair of thin pants. In the -10 C weather, his whole body trembled and his legs became numb. When he arrived at school, he couldn’t even lift his right leg.
When he returned home, Gu Mingxi was cold and hungry. He wanted to eat, but realized that there was no food in the kitchen. Li Han sat at the side watching TV as she knit with her gla.s.ses on. When she saw Gu Mingxi quietly return to his room, she got up and made him a bowl of noodles.
Delicious tomato and beef noodles with a poached egg on top.
Gu Mingxi knew that Li Han was telling him that if he left her, he wouldn’t be able to take care of himself. Although her method was cruel and extreme, Gu Mingxi realized what the problem was.
His mother had spend her entire life working hard and looking after him. In order to take care of him when she was younger, she even gave up the idea of having another child. When she entered middle age, his father had an affair and they divorced. His father remarried and had another child. But Li Han had never once thrown away Gu Mingxi. She didn’t push her sufferings onto her son or blame him for anything. She still worked hard to accompany him while he studied, to take care of his food. Gu Mingxi didn’t have arms, so Li Han took on all the house ch.o.r.es and never asked Gu Mingxi to help. And he’d enjoyed a peaceful life where he was fed and clothed.
But now, what was it that Li Han wanted?
She wasn’t young anymore. She’d grown old and suffered emotional wounds. She just wanted to return to her home, buy a house, and live out the rest of her life with her parents and her son. This place had her family and her old friends. Falling leaves return to their roots. Li Han had already retired. She didn’t want to leave this place again.
And Gu Mingxi’s physical condition meant that he would never be like other boys. He couldn’t just pick up and go to a new place all on his own. For him, that was a really difficult thing.
This was a very conflicting and p.r.i.c.kly problem. Gu Mingxi sometimes did feel like he was being selfish and unfilial. But there were also times where he felt very wronged.
When he was on the phone with Pang Qian, she said, “Why don’t you finish and graduate and then come here for post-graduate studies?”
When Gu Mingxi didn’t respond, she bit her lip and continued, “When that time comes, even if your mom doesn’t come, it’s not a big deal. I can just keep studying too, and we can live together and I’ll take care of you.”
She was really very innocent. Gu Mingxi laughed and said, “How can I live with you?”
“Aren’t the rooms for post-graduate students two-person rooms?”
“Have you ever heard of a male and female living in the same room?”
“If we can’t live at school, then we can just rent a place off campus.” Pang Qian didn’t think there was a problem at all. “Rent a two bedroom place, one room for you, one room for me. I can take care of you, really. If you don’t like the food in the cafeteria, then I can cook for you. I’ll learn how to cook.”
“Pang Pang.” Gu Mingxi’s voice dropped. “Am I a very troublesome person?”
“Not at all.”
Gu Mingxi smiled. “Forget it, let’s not talk about it. I probably won’t be able to become your school junior. My mom won’t agree to me quitting school, so I can’t do anything about it.”
Pang Qian didn’t know how to comfort him either, but she really didn’t like to hear Gu Mingxi sound so crestfallen. She said, “Gu Mingxi, don’t be so discouraged. My dad always says that when the boat gets to the pier, it will go straight with the current (things will be alright in the end). Nothing can’t be overcome!”
“I know,” he said. “I realized that I’ve really turned into a mess recently.” He breathed out deeply. Then he said, “A year ago when we were studying for the entrance exam, I never thought that this was how college life would be.”
“Finals are coming soon. Work hard.”
He felt a bit guilty.
Pang Qian continued, “In another half a year, I’ll come to find you.”
“…”
“I emailed you some recent pictures. Did you see them?”
“Yeah, you’re very pretty now. You know how to dress up now.”
“Yang Lu taught me how to put on makeup. And she helps when I buy new clothes too, teaching me how to match clothes.” Pang Qian’s voice softened. “How come you’ve never sent me any picture? Don’t you have a computer? Why don’t you ever go online?”
Gu Mingxi chuckled and said, “I don’t have a camera or a webcam. And the rental house doesn’t have internet.”
“But Gu Mingxi, I haven’t seen you in almost half a year.”
He said, “Didn’t you say that you were coming in the summer? You’ll be able to see me then.”
January 2004, Li Mu sold off the old house and dragged his whole house along to Li Han’s new place. The grandparents lived in Li Han’s room, and Li Mu and his wife stayed in Gu Mingxi’s room. Li s.h.i.+yu slept on temporary bed in the living room. And Li Han and Gu Mingxi continued living in the shabby rental by B University.
When Li Mu went to pay the down payment on his new house, Li Han went along with him. She handed over 80 thousand and wished him well. Li Mu, once again, asked for more. He said that they didn’t have enough to cover the cost of renovations, and he wanted to borrow 5 thousand dollars from his sister.
Li Han lent him that money and had him write a promissory note.
That (Chinese) New Year, Li Han’s family all gathered at the new house for dinner. She and Li Mu also had an older sister named Li Chun. She married and moved to a district nearby Z City. That year, she brought her husband and daughter back for the family dinner.
Seeing their children and grandchildren together in this place, Gu Mingxi’s grandparents were very happy. Li Han, watching on at the scene inside her new home, was also touched to tears.
But she didn’t feel at all like she was the owner of this house. She and Gu Mingxi hadn’t lived a single day in this house, and when they finished dinner, the two of them would be heading back to their rental house.
The evening on the eve of the new year was very cold. The snow had piled up very thick. Li Han and Gu Mingxi walked on the road, wrapped in their thick coats. The sky was blooming with fireworks and the sounds of firecrackers were all around. Gu Mingxi silently looked ahead, slowly walking forward.
As the year came to an end, Gu Mingxi remembered the things that had happened in the past year.
His life had undergone enormous changes, and it felt as if he were dreaming. He was no longer that young and inexperienced youth sitting on the First High stands, and that gluttonous girl who loved smiling and playing was no longer by his side. He stood on the street in a small city in the north, breathing in the foreign air, the cold wind striking his face like daggers, hair disheveled and covering his eyes.
Gu Mingxi looked southeast into the distance. More than a thousand kilometers away. That’s where his girl was.
Gu Mingxi didn’t fail his final exams. After cramming up to each exam, he was able to coast on by, barely pa.s.sing all his cla.s.ses.
At this time, Gu Mingxi felt that his life was a big mess, but also calm like water. He wanted to cultivate an interest in software engineering. Since he couldn’t quit school, he should just do a good job. Spending so much time, effort, and money, he couldn’t really just sit in cla.s.s daydreaming, day after day.
After the new year, Li Mu’s new house started renovations. By summer, they would move out. Thank the Lord. When that time came, Gu Mingxi and Li Han would also be able to move out of this rental house.
And when summer came, Pang Qian would also be visiting. When he thought of that girl, he always felt like smiling.
Gu Mingxi felt that his and Li Han’s bad luck would slowly pa.s.s. Gradually, he calmed down and got ready to study hard. But once again, misfortune struck.
One day in early May, Gu Mingxi returned home and knocked on the door. No one answered. He had to drop his backpack on the ground and pull out his keys with his foot, and then unlock the door.
“Mom–” He called out as he looked around the room. For seemingly no reason, his heart started to feel anxious.
The rental house was pitifully small, and you could see all around with a single glance. Gu Mingxi suddenly recalled the year he started junior high, when he stood at the entrance to the bathroom and saw Li Han lying in a pool of blood.
Gu Mingxi charged to the bathroom. No one. Then he checked the kitchen next to it, and immediately saw Li Han lying on the floor.
