37 – Midnight Heart to Heart
Okay, I accept your apology. I forgive you.

Previously, Pang Qian rarely did any household ch.o.r.es. Before she entered high school, she’d lived a very pampered life (lit. ten fingers have never touched the spring water). Even her underclothes were left to Jin Ai’hua to wash. But after the change in her parents’ work schedules, their formerly stable and ordered life was broken. In order to catch the bus in the mornings, Jin Ai’hua got up at the crack of dawn, and she would return home very late. Although she hadn’t asked anything of Pang Qian, Pang Qian really couldn’t bear sitting back and seeing her parents come home from a long day of work, to still have to take care of all the ch.o.r.es.

So, when Pang Qian got home, she would sweep and clean the floor, wash and cook rice, and hand wash some clothes. It wasn’t something that she tried to take credit for or make known, but Jin Ai’hua still spoke with Pang Shuisheng privately, saying that Qian Qian was growing up and understood a lot more things.

Pang Qian stood at the sink to help Gu Mingxi wash his clothes. They were all undergarments, but she didn’t feel there was anything particular about it. At this time, Pang Shuisheng pa.s.sed by the washroom, wearing a coat. The father and daughter’s eyes met. Pang Shuisheng lifted his cellphone and said quietly, “I’m going outside for a smoke, and I’m going to give Mingxi’s dad a call.”

“Dad!” Without a care for the soap all over her hands, Pang Qian reached out to grab a hold of his arm. After thinking for a moment, she said softly, “Just let Uncle Gu know that he’s safe. Don’t tell him about all the other stuff.”

Pang Shuisheng looked at his daughter, then hesitatingly asked, “Do you know something?”

Pang Qian bit her lip, then said, “When I went over to Gu Mingxi’s house today, I heard Uncle Gu and Auntie Li fighting. It was a really big fight. That’s why Gu Mingxi came to our house. Dad, Uncle Gu… He seems to be having an affair. And Auntie Li was really hurt. Gu Mingxi told me not to tell you guys, but…”

As Gu Guoxiang’s longtime friend and former coworker, Pang Shuisheng definitely had some ideas about Gu Guoxiang’s private life. He wanted another child, and everyone knew that. But Li Han had problems conceiving. So, a lot of the workers in the factory estimated that the two of them would divorce.

Pang Shuisheng couldn’t accept such an outcome, but he was, after all, an outsider in their affairs. And then his own daughter was also linked in many ways to their son’s disability, so who was he to comment on it.

He only felt wronged for Gu Mingxi. He was such a good boy, and none of this was his fault, but he would be the one to bear the terrible outcome.

Pang Shuisheng’s eyes gradually warmed. He pat his daughter’s head and said, “You did the right thing, telling me about it. Don’t worry. When I call Mingxi’s dad, I’ll just let him know that he’s safe. As for everything else, we’ll talk about it when both his parents return.”

Pang Qian nodded.

Pang Shuisheng said, “Since you’re on vacation now, spend some more time with Mingxi. Don’t bully him anymore, okay?”

Pang Qian pouted. “When do I bully him? I’m even helping him wash his clothes.”

Pang Shuisheng looked at the clothes in the sink and sighed. “You should be helping him. If not for Mingxi, how could you have gotten into such a good school?”

Pang Qian nodded obediently. Pang Shuisheng was just about leave, when he turned back around. “But you can’t help Gu Mingxi with things like using the toilet again. If he needs help, just tell him to find me. You two aren’t little kids anymore, so it’s better to avoid such situations.”

It would have been fine if he hadn’t mentioned it. But now that he had mentioned it, Pang Qian recalled that summer, when they were in a public washroom in the Shanghai convention center, and she saw… Pang Shuisheng left the house, and Pang Qian went back to was.h.i.+ng Gu Mingxi’s undergarments, but her whole person wasn’t quite right.
—-

When Pang Qian returned to her room, Gu Mingxi had already worked a bit on his homework.

He turned the ceiling light on and sat on the bedding on the floor. His notebook was opened on the floor, the pen in his hand writing nonstop. There were a few sheets of scratch paper to his side, filled with images and formulas. Pang Qian had spent the first several days of winter break very leisurely, but seeing him put in so much effort, a very urgent feeling started to emerge within her.

“What are you going?” She sat down on the floor next to Gu Mingxi and looked over at his notebook. Gu Mingxi turned to look at her. Pang Qian had just showered, her wet hair spread over her shoulders, her face flushed, a light scent of shampoo still lingering on her.

He suddenly felt that him sleeping in her room was a terrible idea. His heart grew restless, but he had to use all his efforts to calm himself.

Gu Mingxi couldn’t help his toes curling up, as the back of his foot grew taut. He pushed the book towards Pang Qian and said, “I found a math practice book. Every night, I do one exam set.”

Pang Qian took his book to see, “Is it hard?”

“For you, it might be a bit hard.”

Pang Qian made a face at him, then gave him a shove. “Show off!”

Gu Mingxi was unhappy, “How was I showing off?”

“You’re showing off by saying you’re smarter than me!”

“I just put more time into it.” Gu Mingxi smiled. “You’re actually very smart.”

This delighted Pang Qian. “Haha, you finally realized.”

Gu Mingxi turned away, and said lightly, “But sometimes, you’re really a bit slow.”

Pang Qian smacked him on his head with the book. “You’re the slow one!”

It was already very late, and Pang Qian really didn’t want to do anymore homework. She picked up a romance novel and lied down on her bed. Gu Mingxi was still going over test papers on the floor. But it was hard for him to concentrate, because every so often, Pang Qian would let out a noise.

As she was reading, she would laugh out loud, “kekeke” or “hahaha.” It was getting on Gu Mingxi’s nerves, but he could only clench his teeth and endure through it.

Pang Qian also ate snacks – scorched rice. Crunch, crunch, crunch as she chewed happily. Occasionally, she would ask Gu Mingxi, “Hey, Gu Mingxi, do you want to eat some? I’ll feed you.” The scorched rice made her thirsty, so she would also drink some cola. After she gulped down the cold cola, she let out a big belch. “Ah… So refres.h.i.+ng!”

Gu Mingxi’s face was covered in black lines. But he had to endure!

But all that was nothing. Pang Qian also rolled around on her bed, and when she got to a particular spot, she would reach her leg out and kick Gu Mingxi’s back. It was always very sudden, and would give Gu Mingxi a scare. One time, she used so much power that she nearly kicked him over.

When she kicked him, Pang Qian would call out, “Foshan shadow kick!”

Gu Mingxi, “…”

He’d only completed half of his test paper, but he just gave up.

Pang Qian held her scorched rice, sitting on her bed. She watched as the black-faced Gu Mingxi used his feet to tidy his bedding. She asked, “You’re not working on your practice problems anymore?”

“Mm.”

“Are you saying I’m noisy?”

“…”

She blinked at him, then said pitifully, “Continue doing your things. I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Forget it, it’s already late.” Gu Mingxi looked up at her, not even a tiny bit angry. “Go to sleep.”

When they were was.h.i.+ng up before sleeping, Pang Qian helped Gu Mingxi prepare a new toothbrush, and even helped him squeeze the toothpaste. Gu Mingxi stood in front of the sink, his right foot up on the counter. With toothbrush in foot, he bent over to brush his teeth.

No matter what, it was much more convenient living in his own home compared to Pang Qian’s. So he had to accept Pang Qian’s help. For example, when she helped him hold the cup to rinse after brus.h.i.+ng. In the end, Pang Qian helped him wash his face with a towel.

It had already been a long time since Gu Mingxi asked anyone to help him with such small matters, like was.h.i.+ng his face or brus.h.i.+ng his teeth. Even Li Han wouldn’t concern herself with those things. So, when Pang Qian stood in front of him, warmly was.h.i.+ng his face with a towel, a strange feeling started to surface inside his heart. He knew that this would be considered a pretty intimate act. It wasn’t something just anyone would be willing to help him with. And he wouldn’t accept most people’s help.

These were small things that he could do on his own, but he didn’t turn away Pang Qian’s help. On the contrary, he quite enjoyed it.

Who told her to kick me earlier? This is her way of making it up to me, Gu Mingxi thought.

The two of them slept in their beds, each with their own delicate thoughts.

Pang Qian was a girl and this was her room. But right now, there was a boy sleeping on her floor. Occasionally, there came the sound of his blankets shuffling, or there’d be a cough from the floor. His breathing was very steady. And in that dark room, that sound of breathing, which clearly belonged to a boy, sounded very clearly.

Pang Qian felt a bit uneasy inside. Gu Mingxi felt even more uneasy. Even though the matters at home brought him troubles, he was still a teenage boy. He was nearly 17 years old, at at that moment, the thought of the girl sleeping in the bed beside him left his heart throbbing.

Then he felt that his thoughts were getting too dirty, and he felt rather ashamed.

The two of them, one on the bed, one on the floor, were both tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

Gu Mingxi’s thoughts were a big mess. And just then, Pang Qian spoke, “Gu Mingxi, are you asleep?”

“No,” he answered.

“There are some things I want to say to you.”

“…” Her tone was very serious, and it was a bit frightening. Gu Mingxi grew anxious and asked, “What is it?”

“I… I don’t know how to say it.” Pang Qian hugged her blanket and bit her lip. “Gu Mingxi, I-I…”

Gu Mingxi waited silently. He was very curious, but didn’t press her, giving her all the time she needed.

Pang Qian finally said, “I want to apologize to you.”

Gu Mingxi hadn’t expected that, so he asked, “For what?”

“I’ve never apologized to you.” Her voice was apprehensive and she spoke slowly. “That year, if I hadn’t thrown the frisbee onto the transformer, you wouldn’t have lost your arms. If you still had your arms, your parents wouldn’t be fighting right now. And, even though I know apologizing won’t fix anything, I still never apologized to you. I… I didn’t dare to. I was scared that you would yell at me. Even though you normally treat me really well, but I really don’t know if you blame me, deep inside. I pretended to forget everything that happened back then. But I just didn’t dare to think about it, and I didn’t dare to talk to you about it. I… Gu Mingxi, actually, I’m not asking you to forgive me. You can blame me if you want, but I still wanted to say this to you today. Gu Mingxi, I’m sorry.”

There was a very, very long silence.

Tears fell from Pang Qian’s eyes, but she didn’t make a sound. She hid her head inside her blankets, unwilling to hear the movement beneath her bed. She wished he was asleep, that he hadn’t heard the things she’d said. She even wished that he would jump up and yell at her. That would probably make her settle down a bit.

There was a sound from the floor, so Pang Qian pulled her blanket away from her eyes and secretly looked over. She was very surprised because Gu Mingxi had really pushed off his blankets and was sitting up.

Pang Shuisheng’s pajamas were both thick and velvet-y. He couldn’t sleep when he was wearing them, so after the lights were turned off, Gu Mingxi quietly took off the pajamas, leaving only his boxers on.

He sat on top of his bedding, the blanket spread over him, in the dark room. Pang Qian could see his naked body, and though it was only the outline, she could tell that compared to last summer, Gu Mingxi’s body had become much more developed.

His shoulders were broader, his bones were larger. Although he didn’t have any bulging muscles, the smooth lines of adolescence were undergoing their final changes before adulthood.

Gu Mingxi kept silent. Then after a long time, he let out a deep breath. He turned to look at Pang Qian, and she immediately puller her blanket back over her head.

Gu Mingxi laughed, a light laughter. With a voice as clear as spring, he said, “When you apologize, you should be a bit sincere. Why are you hiding?”

Pang Qian flattened her lips and pulled her covers down. She didn’t sit up, but just wriggled around on her bed. Her arms were crossed under her chin as she lied in bed watching him.

This way, their eye levels were about even, though Gu Mingxi was still a bit taller. He smiled faintly at Pang Qian, s.h.i.+ning eyes that could consume someone’s soul.

Then he leaned forward so that his forehead touched with Pang Qian’s for a moment. Just a moment, then he moved back. Pang Qian’s face suddenly started burning. She looked at him distractedly, and heard him say clearly:

“Okay, I accept your apology. I forgive you.”