Part 4. My Heart, Like the Sea

110 (Part 1) | Wedding Banquet
We’re finally married! It’s been a 27 year long run! Has it been easy?!

With the start of the new semester, Shanghai’s Songjiang University Town grew lively. The empty streets and desolate campus gradually filled up with people coming and going.

Pang Qian went along with Gu Mingxi to take care of school registration procedures, and then the two of them went to set up new phone numbers in Shanghai. By Xu Shuanghua’s request, his teaching friend helped set Gu Mingxi up with a place to stay.

Because of Gu Mingxi’s physical condition, it wasn’t convenient for him to stay in a regular four person dorm room. Out of consideration for him, the school arranged a two person room at the school for him to stay in. His roommate was a 22 year old boy named Fu Qinfeng.

Fu Qinfeng was a rather introverted boy. When he first met Gu Mingxi, he didn’t say much. He just helped Pang Qian to clean up a bit and helped Gu Mingxi put out new bed sheets.

Pang Qian asked him to help watch out for Gu Mingxi during the school year, especially with meals, using the restroom, carrying his art supplies and such. Fu Qinfeng nodded, “Don’t worry, leave it to me.”

Gu Mingxi attended the welcoming ceremony and then returned to their apartment. During dinner, he told Pang Qian about his day.

“When I walked into the cla.s.sroom, those kids were all dumbstruck by the fact that I didn’t have arms. Some of them thought I was the teacher or the advisor. They even called me ‘Teacher.'” Gu Mingxi wanted to laugh when he recalled that scene. “I told them that actually I was a new student, just like them.”

Pang Qian listened with interest, “And then what?”

“And then the ones who weren’t dumbstruck earlier were all shocked.” Gu Mingxi ate some rice and continued, “When the advisor came in, we introduced ourselves, and I gained a new name.”

“What name?”

“Old Gu.” He laughed.

“Puah!” Pang Qian laughed out, and the food in her mouth nearly fell out. “Why are they calling you Old Gu?!”

“They’re all 18 or 19 year old kids. If they don’t call me Old Gu, what would they call me?” Gu Mingxi laughed again. “Fu Qinfeng said he had to take the exam three times before getting in. He thought he was old and would be the oldest in the cla.s.s. To be honest, he hadn’t expected there would be a 28 year old student.”

Pang Qian was extremely pleased. “28 isn’t that old. At my old school, there were graduate students that were older than 30.”

“That’s grad school though. You can’t compare the two.” Gu Mingxi frowned. “Pang Pang, actually, I didn’t use to feel that I was very old, probably because I was always in a school setting. When I was in S City, I often went to the art inst.i.tute there to sit in on lectures. And then I worked at an elementary school after that. I thought I was still young. But today, when I looked at all the kids in my cla.s.s, I realized that I really am a bit old. Look, there are wrinkles all around my eyes.”

He picked up his chopsticks with his foot and showed his eyes to Pang Qian.

“Please!” Pang Qian picked up a piece of luffa with her chopsticks and stuffed it into his mouth. “That’s because of all the sun in Sanya. Look at Xie Yi, he hasn’t aged at all. He could put on a school uniform and walk back into high school. Alright, I’ll go buy you some skin care products tomorrow. Who knew, Gu Mingxi, you care quite a bit about your appearance too.”

“What do you mean?” He raised his eyebrows. “But speaking of, there were a couple girls that asked for my number today. Some of them even asked if I had a girlfriend.”

Pang Qian asked curiously, “What did you say?”

“I said that I didn’t have a girlfriend, but there was a tigress at home.”

“Gu Mingxi, you want to die?!” Pang Qian dropped her chopsticks and then smacked him. “Tell me the truth, Gu Mingxi. Now that you’re surrounded with young and pretty 18 and 19 year old girls, are you very happy?”

“Just eat your dinner!” Then he hid from her. After she was done venting, he finally laughed and looked at her. “There’s only one girl in my eyes. Forever young, who loves eating sausages, loves sleeping in, loves crying and laughing too. She’s also a bit smug and chattery.”

“Who’s smug? Who’s chattery?!” That’s what came out of Pang Qian’s mouth, but really, she felt quite pleased inside. “I can still pretend to be a girl now, but what about when I’m 30 and 40? When I’m like my mom now, you’re not going to be saying that.”

“You’ll still be a young girl.” Gu Mingxi’s smile couldn’t be hidden. “I’d still like if you gained some weight. You used to love eating a lot, and now you just eat a little and say you’re full. You’re already so thin and you say you want to lose weight. It’s not good for your health.”

Pang Qian curled her lips. “You don’t get it. This is so I’ll good in my wedding dress.”

 

A few days later, Pang Qian started school. The graduate student dorms were two to a room, and her roommate was a Ms Wen. Pang Qian told her that she’d already gotten married, so she would rarely be staying in the dorm. Most of the time, she’d go home.

Xiao Wen asked, “Where do you live?”

“Over by Songjiang University Town.”

“Goodness!” Xiao Wen was taken by surprise.

Xiao Wen’s surprise wasn’t without reason, because that was quite far away from Pang Qian’s school.

After the rush and busyness of the start of school, Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi slowly returned to a normal schedule. They lived near Gu Mingxi’s school, and every morning, Pang Qian would wake up at 6 and leave at 6:30. Taking advantage that the morning rush hour hadn’t started yet, she drove to school, and would just barely make it into her 8 o’clock cla.s.s. When she returned home, the sky would almost certainly be dark.

Gu Mingxi’s heart ached to see Pang Qian travel and work through the day and night, but she felt that there was nothing else to be done. For Pang Qian, driving to and school each day, eating a warm meal with Gu Mingxi, taking a walk around campus after a meal, doing her homework as he drew, chatting about their days before sleeping – even if all they talked about was what they ate that day or a joke they’d heard… These were the world’s most wonderful things. Every night, cuddling with Gu Mingxi and entering their dreams together, Pang Qian felt that all her fatigue disappeared.

Sometimes, when Pang Qian didn’t have cla.s.s, she would tag along with Gu Mingxi to school. They would eat together or study in the library together for a bit. When Gu Mingxi had an open lecture cla.s.s, Pang Qian would also sneak in and attend. The students in Gu Mingxi’s cla.s.s were very interesting. They really called Gu Mingxi ‘Old Gu,’ and when they saw Pang Qian, they affectionately called her ‘Sister-in-law.’

A few of the boys were a bit naughty and clamored up about having a meal at Gu Mingxi’s house. They said they wanted to taste Sis-in-law’s cooking, and Pang Qian’s face reddened. Gu Mingxi laughed and said, “Sure, come on over. How’s hot pot sound?”

On the weekend, some ten plus students arrived at their rented apartment, like a pack of hungry wolves. Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian had prepared a lot of food for hot pot, and they all gobbled it up. In the end, it wasn’t enough to eat, so Gu Mingxi personally cooked a pan of stir fried rice to fill them up.

Female student Xiao w.a.n.g said enviously, “When I get a boyfriend, I definitely have to find one like Old Gu. Tender and considerate, tall, handsome, and with good cooking skills.”

Male student Xiao Liu teased, “How do you know Old Gu’s tender and considerate?”

Xiao w.a.n.g blushed. “Anyone can see that!”

Xiao Liu curled his lips. “How come I can’t see it?”

“You’re so annoying.” Xiao w.a.n.g and Xiao Liu were always bickering. Turning the attention back to Pang Qian, she asked, “Sis-in-law, how did you meet Old Gu?”

Pang Qian laughed and asked, “He never told you guys?”

“No!” Everyone cried out. Another girl said, “Sis-in-law, tell us about your relations.h.i.+p.”

“Ah…” Pang Qian cleared her throat and glanced over at the smiling Gu Mingxi. Earnestly, she started, “We had an arranged marriage, a betrothal in the womb.”

“No way!” the young kids called out, stunned. “What decade is this? Sis-in-law, you must be kidding!”

Pang Qian looked at them, “If I’m lying, then you’re a dog!”

……

Gu Mingxi’s school was rather new compared to Pang Qian’s Fudan. Each building, road, and even sculptures and trees in that old campus carried a story. That place had a long history filled with human sentiment. On the other hand, Gu Mingxi’s school was new, stylish, pioneering, and full of youthful vigor.

When he walked through campus with Fu Qinfeng, he would sometimes be taken aback. The students pa.s.sing by all had young and immature faces, they wore fas.h.i.+onable clothes. They were all 90s kids. Some skateboarded around, some carried camera tripods, some had bright golden hair like a lion’s mane. There were also some couples that stood together and kissed as if no one were around them.

Gu Mingxi thought back to his formerly brief university life. That faraway Z City, at B University, famous for its science and engineering. He’d stayed there for one year.

During that year, he was lost, confused, in the dark, lonely.

But he could hardly recall the pains from that year now. Even when he did remember some things, he felt that his past self was just ridiculously childish.

Fu Qinfeng turned back and saw him standing still. He asked, “Old Gu, what’s wrong?”

Gu Mingxi came back to his senses. “Oh, nothing.”

“Let’s go, we’re going to be late for cla.s.s.”

“Okay.” He walked to the academic building with Fu Qinfeng.

After nine years, his train had finally returned onto the right path.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too late.

Thankfully, she was still waiting for him.

 

October 2nd, a clear and sunny day, was the day that Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian had their wedding.

Gu Guoxiang hesitated for a long time before deciding to attend their wedding.

Grandpa Gu’s health wasn’t that good. He said he couldn’t handle all the celebration noise at a wedding, so he said he wouldn’t go. But Grandma Gu kept saying that she wanted to go to her grandson’s wedding. Gu Guoxiang decided to follow the elder’s wishes and take his mother along with him to the wedding. Dong Yuan and Xiao Liang also went.

Gu Guoxiang had had remained angry after his dispute with Pang Qian over the summer. He felt that he’d been stifling his anger enough. Now that half his life was over, he kept feeling more and more guilt towards his ex-wife. And he felt more and more concerned about losing contact with Gu Mingxi.

Indeed, he hadn’t gone to B University to find out about Gu Mingxi. He hadn’t known he’d quit school. He’d always thought that Gu Mingxi’s life wouldn’t be problematic because he had his (maternal) grandparents and his aunt and uncle by his side. They would all help him. Gu Guoxiang thought that if Gu Mingxi ever ran into troubles, he would come back to find his father. No news was good news.

When he learned that Gu Mingxi had returned to E City and was dating Pang Qian, Gu Guoxiang was surprised, but more so, he was confused. He didn’t understand why Gu Mingxi had returned but hadn’t contacted him. He knew that he’d wronged Li Han, but he didn’t think he’d done anything to his son that he ought to feel bad about. He raised Gu Mingxi for nearly 20 years. Hadn’t he fulfilled his role as a father?

Gu Guoxiang admitted that he’d been a bit demanding of Gu Mingxi in the past and they’d become a bit estranged. But he was trying to make up for it. He’d gotten divorced and had no plans to remarry currently. That meant that all his a.s.sets would be pa.s.sed on to Gu Mingxi and Gu Ziyue, didn’t it?

He didn’t understand why Gu Mingxi looked at him like he was looking at a stranger. And Pang Qian had actually turned hostile so quickly after he asked them to take care of Gu Ziyue for six days.

It also happened that Gu Ziyue had been very stubborn and caused trouble that day, so presently Gu Guoxiang really had no face to see them. When he received the wedding invitation from Pang Shuisheng, he really didn’t want to attend the wedding. Then he thought that if, as the groom’s father, he wasn’t present at the wedding, it would be very awkward for the newlyweds. People would speak ill of them. The Chinese held family to a high esteem, so originally, Gu Guoxiang wanted to punish Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi a bit. But in the end, he couldn’t help himself. He decided to go to the wedding.

It was his son, after all. His biological son. He didn’t want Gu Mingxi to be made a joke of by others.

Gu Guoxiang walked up to the banquet hall, supporting his mother on his arm. The corridor was lined with banners, Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian’s wedding photos. Every few meters, there was a flower wreath with a sign that said: Welcome to Mr Gu Mingxi and Ms Pang Qian’s wedding banquet!

Gu Guoxiang looked at all the photos–

Pang Qian at the seafront, her veil blowing in the wind. Her long white dress spilled across the ground. Gu mingxi was wearing a white suit. He stood beside her, looking at her tenderly.

Pang Qian wearing a red dress, her arm bent in, carrying a fan. Gu Mingxi was wearing red and black evening wear. His head was tilted to the side as he sat next to her with a smile on his face.

On an athletic field, Gu Mingxi wore a s.h.i.+rt and jeans. He sat on the stands, his brows furrowed with a helpless expression on his face. Pang Qian was also dressed casually. She stood behind him with a big smile on her face as she pulled at his ears.

Gu Guoxiang was shocked at the sweetness and understanding that showed in Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian’s photos. What surprised him even more was that their wedding photos didn’t try to conceal Gu Mingxi’s disability.

He thought that the photographer would help them hide it a bit, but in each and every photo, Gu Mingxi’s empty sleeves hung very obviously. Whether it was a suit jacket or the cuffs of his sleeves, the nothingness there felt very unpleasant to Gu Guoxiang. The casual photos were especially so. Gu Mingxi wore a short sleeved s.h.i.+rt and his empty sleeves blew in the wind. Gu Guoxiang stared hard at those photos. That feeling of shame and embarra.s.sment that he hadn’t felt in a long time gradually filled his heart.

This was obviously his son, but he couldn’t get over that pit in his heart.

Gu Guoxiang and Grandma Gu walked into the ballroom. The couple were at the door, greeting guests. Pang Qian was especially pretty that day. She had on delicate makeup and wore a white, floor-length wedding dress. Her hair was loosely twisted up behind her head, and her eyes were s.h.i.+ning like stars as she greeted the guests with a big smile.

As for Gu Mingxi, Gu Guoxiang felt he barely recognized his own son. He stood straight and tall, and his hair was styled freshly and stylishly. Under his thick brows, there was a pair of s.h.i.+ning, dark eyes.

Gentle eyes and a light smile that countered his tough facial contours and handsome features. He wore an excellent quality dark suit with a light colored s.h.i.+rt and a reddish brown tie. Completed with the s.h.i.+ny, dark shoes on his feet, he looked very handsome and extraordinary.

It’s just that his suit sleeves hung so strikingly at his sides, swaying as he moved. Gu Guoxiang stood still at the side, because he’d realized that Gu Mingxi was no longer the quiet youth with stubborn eyes that existed in his memory. He’d matured greatly, grown a lot more prudent and handsome… and also unfamiliar.