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Sorry this took a while. I was wrapping up Instant Death. On the bright side, now I can turn more of my focus towards this and my other novels.
Enjoy the chapter~.
TL: Thy Unsus
ED: UpsilonProgress-kun
“Mana. What do you think about Master?” (Rose)
On hearing my question, Mana's facial expression froze over.
I guess I must've hit upon something that was a touchy topic for her.
Right now, I treaded one step inside of the girl called Mana Katō, who hadn't let me touch, or possibly, hadn't let anyone touch until now. There was that feeling.
“……could we stop talking about this, Rose-san? I feel this is a rather unpleasant conversation.” (Mana)
At the superficial level, she sounded indifferent, but the fact she'd regained her usual expressionless face was something that could be expected of her. Mana responded to me.
“Hey, Rose-san. Wasn't today very fun? Well, I had an embarra.s.sing experience, and did something bad to Gerbersan……but, it was a fun day. Is it different? After all that, it's such a waste to spoil it all with such a strange talk at the end. So, will you stop?” (Mana)
“No. I won't stop.” (Rose)
I shook my head.
Certainly, it was fun. I had made some blunders, but it seemed we could also laugh and talk, this was a fragment of our everyday.
But, as Mana said, even if one day today would be spoiled with this……or, even if the things we've piled up so far would be spoiled, I wouldn't stop this conversation.
I felt a sense of impending crisis.
There must not be something that I overlook without stepping into here. Mana's transient smile as she stared at the fortress seemed to vanish.
“From a long time ago, I have felt doubt.” (Rose)
So, I stepped into it.
None other than Mana herself had given me the confidence to charge ahead.
“It is about your behavior. Master was suspicious of you, and despite you knowing about that, you continued to lend him a hand.” (Rose)
“……where, was there something that Rose-san harboured doubt about? If there was some place I didn't reach, I'll apologize.” (Mana)
“No way. I don't mean something like that.” (Rose)
I shook my head.
“But, I thought. ‘If it's Mana, isn't there a way of doing it a bit more?'.” (Mana)
Since then, I meticulously watched over Master and Mana.
I had been thinking about them. I desired to ‘understand'. If it was limited to just these two, I could throw out my chest that I had been pouring my energy into thinking more than anyone else.
This might have been the doubt that I harboured because of me like this.
That night, I tried to receive permission to have Mana learn the basics of magic.
What had swirled inside of Master's mind was a lack of sympathy and trust towards Mana.
Originally, Master had fallen into a serious distrust of other human beings from the harsh experience of when the colony collapsed. Anyhow, at least until that night, Master had looked at Mana with a deep distrust which, from me, even seemed to be ‘bizarre'.
……However, was the cause really only Master's trauma?
To the me of now, I couldn't help feeling that doubt.
Master had been suspicious of Mana.
Despite knowing that, Mana kept lending her strength to him.
During the battle with Gerbera—the white arachne era—who didn't have a name yet, she not only drafted a strategy, but also exposed her life to danger.
She even did the thankless role of calming down the wildly running Lily.
Not to mention now, where she even held out a hand to me who didn't know what to do with her immature heart, the first reason was that the ‘because I was Master's family' shouldn't have been few.¹
A girl, who didn't say even one complaint, didn't get angry or pout, and didn't have any power to fight, kept searching for things that she could do for herself earnestly.
……without even a single reward.
It would be natural to wonder what she was thinking.
But, I didn't understand her motive no matter what.
If it was like that, then how? Wouldn't it be normal to think suspiciously about ‘why such a thing'?
To say nothing of that, what if she was a human that held pain like Master?
I didn't feel it was strange to harbour doubts regarding whether she was scheming against us, or working towards some hidden rewards we hadn't thought of.
If I borrowed the words that Mana herself had said before, in Mana's behavior, nothing could be seen but the parts of 『I want to do it for your sake』and 『I want to do something』in her human desires, there was no『I want you to do』.
It was just like me, who had been seized with being a doll before. As a result, the『humanity』of Mana wasn't seen no matter how much time pa.s.sed……
What was strange was that, as far as I was concerned, the circ.u.mstances around that were quite different.
Even though the condition between Master and I, who hadn't distrusted Mana very much from the onset, was different, when she tried to lend out a hand to me, she conveyed her feelings properly, saying things like『I remember sympathy』,『I'm grateful』, and『I want to be friends』.
And yet, there was no evidence that she did『great efforts to understand each other』like that even once towards Master. In a certain meaning, you could even say that her behaviors were the same as watering a sprout of doubt.
And, the biggest problem here, was that the intelligent Mana couldn't have not noticed what was noticed like this even by me.
If it was like that, then after all, me arriving at a conclusion like this couldn't be helped.
“Haven't you been acting so that you were distrusted by Master on purpose, Mana?” (Rose)
Seeing it from Master's eyes, the figure of Mana must have appeared doubtful.
At least, the girl called Mana Katō then I knew wasn't there. There was just the figure of some kind of『monster』, who hid its fangs of scheming and remained in obscurity.
However, even if it was like that, that wasn't the only reason she pa.s.sed through his filter of gis.h.i.+nanki². Master couldn't help but distrust her because Mana herself behaved in a way to reinforce that feeling.
“What Rose-san is saying is correct——” (Mana)
Without daring to deny what I said, Mana *kokuri* tilted her head.
“——why did I do things like that?” (Mana)
“I, too, didn't understand that until some time ago.” (Rose)
Even if not by me, I thought ‘such a thing is impossible to understand'.
Who would behave in a way to garner the distrust of others?
In other words, it was similar to an act of self harm. There was no reason to do such absurd things. There simply was no incentive to.
So, as I said earlier, even while I doubted Mana's conduct a little until now, I had been under the impression that it was due to my own mind.
“But, when I saw Mana's figure some time ago, I understood. Mana, you——” (Rose)
From under the mask, I stared at my friend eyes and told her.
“——You wanted Master to believe in humans, didn't you?” (Rose)
“……” (Mana)
Mana was silent, but her eyes opened slightly.
The appearance of small emotion, which might have been missed if it was someone else, was enough to make me harbour confidence. Pus.h.i.+ng that confidence, I continued.
“That Master, whose heart was wounded, decides to try to believe in humans once again, that it reaches the point that he believes in Mana. ……I can't even imagine it, but that isn't as easy as it sounds, right? Master doing it by himself might be impossible. I cannot be his power, and that will be the same for Gerbera as well. Needless to say for Ayame and Asarina……probably, the one who can become his support, would be Lily-ane-sama who is closest to his heart?” (Rose)
Although I said that, Ane-sama was Ane-sama, she really had lack-of-nerve parts. Around that, was another story though.
“Regarding this matter, it's difficult for anyone to be Master's power. However, Mana. I believe that, if it's you, maybe Master's heart can be unravelled.” (Rose)
“……still, I think that that might be an overestimation of Rose-san.” (Mana)
Mana was floating a bittersweet smile.
It wasn't a facial expression she really made, but seemed to be a true bittersweet smile.
“……is that right? I don't think so. If it is someone like Mana, then maybe it's like that.” (Rose)
The truth of the matter was, if the person herself said that there was a part that I was overestimating about Mana, then I wouldn't deny it.
But, I personally didn't think so.
I believed, even if just one person, I believed that Mana Kato, who guided my immature heart until now, was an amazing girl. That alone was enough for me to spin my words.
“But, regardless of the『'if' discussions』, isn't it true that Mana didn't even try it in reality?” (Rose)
“……I cannot deny it. However, ‘that's why, I did such a thing', is Rose-san thinking that?” (Mana)
“That is……” (Rose)
At Mana's question, I was reminded of Mana's earnest eyes which I saw some time ago.
Just like me, Mana was staring at the fortress with more enthusiasm than she was p.r.o.ne to. If her heart was holding the same feelings as me……
“That is, Mana. It's because you are thinking ‘I don't want to be separated from Master's side'.” (Rose)
Here, the conversation returned to the beginning motive.
Mana was just like me, who was thinking ‘I want to be near Master'. If we a.s.sumed it was like that, then the theory would work. Because unlike me, the relations.h.i.+p between Mana and Master was something with a deadline.
“Master said『I'll take you to a safe place』after protecting Mana. Since the current Master feels a debt of grat.i.tude towards Mana……no, even without that, he won't do something like abandoning someone really irresponsibly. Master, who has the responsibility, intends to search for a place he can entrust Mana to with peace of mind. ……But, this is a very difficult thing.” (Rose)
“Difficult, you say?” (Mana)
“Yes. Considering Master's character, there's no way he can entrust Mana—who he has a great debt of grat.i.tude towards—to a person he cannot trust with peace of mind. But on the other hand, Master doesn't trust humans. In which case, doesn't something like a place he can entrust Mana to with peace of mind not exist anywhere? At least, as long as Master isn't trusting humans.” (Rose)
Of course, Master would keep looking still, and he'd carry out his responsibility in some form eventually. There were no places to doubt regarding that area, and I understood that it wasn't something to worry about.
Yeah. It wasn't something to worry about. ……But, that it was a difficult thing, was also true.
It was because of that, that I thought the reason for Mana's actions was around this.
“Even if it's a relations.h.i.+p with a deadline, that deadline can be extended and extended. If clearing the doubt and solving the misunderstanding will shorten that deadline, I don't think you'd dare clear away the doubt. If you have a motive like that, then it's possible to understand Mana's mysterious behavior.” (Rose)
However, those actions were too sour.
To the point that I couldn't help but feel her to be pathetic.
By continuing to be doubted, Mana could be at Master's side. If she did that, then her relations.h.i.+p would surely continue.
However, as a subst.i.tute for that, their relations.h.i.+p, whatever form it was, would never deepen.
“Even if you remain being doubted, you don't mind, but still, you're doing it to stay by Master's side. You harbor only that thought towards Master. And, because a thought like that is being harbored, you're making efforts without wanting rewards for Master, aren't you?” (Rose)
Perhaps, it may be a feeling similar to praying.
But, there was a possibility that Master would overcome his distrust of other humans with what happened to Mana.
If he reached that, the expired relations.h.i.+p was finished. Afterwards, only the girl he continued to doubt would be left.
There was no way I could be silent and watch something like that.
“You should be harboring very strong feelings towards Master. Despite this, why do you ignore your own feelings? Wasn't it none other than you yourself who told me『Don't kill your own heart』?” (Rose)
Even without using such a method, Mana should be able to be by Master's side.
I couldn't dare to think that Mana was doing nothing but turning her back on happiness and choosing the disadvantage path.
If she didn't want to leave, then she should have said ‘I don't want to leave'.
If she was harboring some special feelings towards Master, then she should have told them.
Unlike me, Mana should have been aware of her own feelings. Then, she should have been able to voice them out to him at any time.
“For some reason or another, I understand. Aren't the feelings that Mana harbors towards Master, the same as mine?” (Rose)
——Let's work hard so your wishes are realized. …….because Rose-san's wishes, are something that can be granted.
I remembered the words which Mana said before.
If my wishes were something that could be granted, what wishes couldn't be granted?
Who was it that was really giving up? Why was it that she was sympathizing with our family? What did it mean to be envious that we'd talked over and over again?
If said even more, even that trick which repelled the white arachne that『thrust at happiness out of reach and broke her heart』, wasn't it a result of a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic way of thinking to some extent?
If it was like that, the girl called Mana Katō was too pitiful. There was no way I could abandon her or something like that. That was why——……
“Mana. You, what do you think about Master?” (Rose)
I threw a question to the girl who didn't try to tell her feelings.
“……” (Mana)
Mana stared at me motionlessly with eyes like she was measuring something.
I, too, stared back at those eyes. I didn't plan to surrender here.
Soon, Mana suddenly floated a smile on her mouth.
“……Honestly, I'm shocked.” (Mana)
It was an unusually transparent smile, not one of the gloomy ones characteristic to her.
……Despite this, I couldn't see her aim.
Why was her gentle smiling face the same as when she was gazing at the fortress? It made my heard feel uncalm.
“I didn't expect Rose-san, who had grieved『I don't understand the subtleties of the human heart』, and『I don't know about Master』, to notice my condition this quickly.” (Mana)
“……It isn't that surprising, you know. In reality, I still have some way to go.” (Rose)
My imperfectness, was something I understood the best.
“But, I was taught all these things by Mana.” (Rose)
“I see. Because the other party was me, Rose-san was able to notice. Somehow, it's a slightly embarra.s.sing conversation, huh.” (Mana)
Mana was my teacher, the person closest to me, that was why, even I could approach her inner truths.
Besides, there was another thing. Mana hadn't tried to deceive me.
It would have been impossible for Mana if she thought to try to do things like use words to trick me and lead me around by the nose.
That she hadn't done so, was the sincerity that she showed. As a friend, Mana was facing me. It wasn't a mistake that I responded to her who told me『I want to be friends』. When I thought that, I couldn't ignore her.
Perhaps Mana accurately understood the innermost thoughts of me like this. A slightly wry smile was mixed into the smile on her mouth.
“What do I think about Majimsenpai, is it?” (Mana)
Muttering that, Mana put her hands together by her back, and *turn* turned around her entire body.
What was reflected in her eyes by her doing so, was the fortress which was in a position to be looked down on.
“It's not such a difficult thing. I think it's a common, rather, a mediocre reason.” (Mana)
Whether or not it was as usual, it was all smiles on her mouth, Mana—wearing a ephemeral atmosphere somewhere—informed me.³
“But, it may not be understood by Rose-san yet. What kind of feelings a girl, who was saved when she was going through cruel experiences not more than this in her life, harbors towards the boy who saved her, that is to say……” (Mana)
If touched carelessly, she'd break. If I separated my eyes, she'd disappear. The atmosphere like that on her was giving and ominous feeling of transparency on her, who was delicate and tiny even under normal circ.u.mstances.
But, in front of the girl in danger like this, I couldn't say anything.
It was because, as Mana said, I『don't understand』.
Even now, I hadn't accurately grasped this feeling inside of me. Therefore, I couldn't say the words inside of the heart of Mana, who was harbouring the same feeling as me.
If I was told ‘You won't understand', I could do nothing but be silent. Mana returned her line of sight towards such a me.
“I don't intend to convey this feeling to Majimsenpai.” (Mana)
“tsu! Why……!?” (Rose)
“I don't want to convey it.” (Mana)
Mana told me with a peaceful to the bitter end tone of voice. That calmness seemingly conveyed Mana's resignation, and I couldn't keep my calmness.
“So, why is ittt. You know that it's important, you taught that to me, and yet, why……!?” (Rose)
“Because, I have only this.” (Mana)
Mana didn't break her thin smile.
“I'm not a strong person. If it was true, then I'd think me dying in the chaos of the colony of that day where it all ended was justified.” (Mana)
I looked at that doll-like facial expression of Mana……aah. The current me noticed.
The wounds she bore on her heart after she came to this world, hadn't recovered in the slightest.
“And yet, I survived thanks to Majimsenpai. Mizus.h.i.+msenpai died, and when I should have died at that mountain hut, I could live a while thanks to Majimsenpai this time. But, my insides had almost disappeared at that point.” (Mana)
Met with cruel experiences and despairing, the girl called Mana Katō wasn't strong enough to recover.
Rather, those called ‘humans' may not be able to be so strong.
If she experienced a disaster that covered her eyes, she also might choose her own death.
As long as she was without that willpower, her not ever recovering again was natural.
Very few people would still be able to stand, solely fueled by resentment, but fewer yet would have been able to continue on bearing those wounds. If you could laugh and forgive, you were a hero, and if you didn't feel anything, you were a monster.
In a meaning like that, Mana was common. She was a commonplace girl, and was naturally delicate.
The girl named ‘Mana Katō' who was once weak and delicate, died in that mountain hut.
Her heart might have been beating. She might have been breathing as well. There was probably also warmth on her skin. But, she had lost the most important thing.
……Her heart, was dead.
“Majimsenpai led Lily-san and others, and saved me. Mizus.h.i.+msenpai's death, the evil that drove her to death, and the killing intent harbored seriously for the first time at the unreasonableness that spread in the world. There were various things, and there was too much until then; Senpai's heart must have been frozen. ……And yet, Senpai worried about me first. The very first thing he did was come to my side. At that time, I felt like I touched Senpai's heart.” (Mana)
Mana shook her head, swinging her braids.
“Of course, such a thing is a delusion. I understand that. Because I'm a human. Such a delusion may even be unpleasant conversation for Rose-san, who is a family member. ……But, even if it is a delusion, it was good. For me, who lost just about everything and become empty, it was the only warmth I was able to cling to.” (Mana)
Mana put her hands on her chest.
As if to remember the feeling that was surely in there.
“At that time, something was born in the hollowness inside me. I didn't know what it was at first, but, I thought that it wasn't about this person. When I was able to clearly realize it, was that night where Gerbersan attacked. Once I realized it, I had no choice but to move anymore. And, now I am here.” (Mana)
She was trampled on, messed up, and once her interior had died, only her body which should have died right after her heart did survived after that.
The girl who was empty harbored『a certain feeling』towards the boy who saved her.
It became her driving force, and the thing that shouldn't have moved normally started to move.
The current state of such a Mana resembled our family of monsters in a certain meaning.
The difference, for sure, was that it was something not from the beginning, or lost.
Mana lost just about everything. If one didn't have anything, one wouldn't lose anything. That was why, the current Mana was strong. To the extent of defeating Lily-ane-sama's heart, and standing in front of the ancient white arachne Gerbera without being scared.
To her, who had already died, nothing was scary. Even if it was just her corpse moving, it was a G.o.dsend. Upon her dying, it was just something to that extent. No lingering attachments. No tenacity. There was not one existence to keep her soul in this world. Not being scared or hesitating, not moving one eyebrow even if destruction was pa.s.sing by the tip of her nose, Mana would continue to push forward towards her goal.
Then, the current her was a monster. A『living corpse』which just continued walking straight towards her goal with just one feeling harbored in her chest as motivation. That, for sure, was the true colors of the『monster』called Mana Katō.
“If this is lost, this time, for sure, I will return to the corpse I was originally. If I tell him my feelings and he rejects me, I'm done for then.” (Mana)
“That's why, you won't tell Master your thoughts? Is Mana okay with this……?” (Rose)
“Anything is fine, this is the best result, isn't it?” (Mana)
Mana said so seriously.
“Majimsenpai overcame the white arachne attack, or perhaps I should say, his biggest crisis. Even Lily-san's unreliable part, was overcome by her growth. Gerbersan was also accepted, and after is just the feelings of Rose-san towards Majimsenpai. My help regarding this will be practically unneeded soon. Even if I disappear, it's alright. Rose-san is growing more than I thought, so although it may take some time, you'll surely be able to do it successfully even by yourself.” (Mana)
“……Mana. By chance, are you……” (Rose)
Starting at the transparent smile being turned towards me, I shuddered again.
I knew that Mana was searching for something she could do herself.
Needless to say of the things she did for Master and us so far, that she said ‘I want to learn recovery magic', would be that link. Everything she did so far, no matter how small, were things she—who had practically no power in this parallel world—thought about desperately and discovered.
But, what if it all disappeared?
While moving towards her goal, it was still fine.
However, what if that ended?
Looking at Mana's smile, I felt like she'd disappear at any time.
However, it wasn't that much.
This smile before my eyes now, was the smile of someone who accepted that they'd disappear eventually.
Mana wished to disappear holding the one and only thing within her. There was no doubt that she, for sure, couldn't accept it, accept that, as a result of holding nothing back about her feelings towards Master, she'd lose the special feeling inside of her.
And, maybe Mana had already seen that『end』. Maybe that was why she looked at the fortress Master was in and was floating such a transient smile.
“I'm fine, Rose-san. There's nothing to worry about. Everyone will surely turn out well.” (Mana)
Guessing that I was discomposed, Mana called out to me with a concerned voice. However, Mana didn't include herself in those words. Mana herself wasn't a part of the『everyone』Mana referred to.
A predicition of the future like that, was something that was too difficult for me to accept——
“Everyone is happy, and the story of Majimsenpai and everyone surrounding him ends with a happy ending. That's why……” (Mana)
“Please do not say ridiculous things!” (Rose)
——Before I realized it, I had interrupted Mana's words with a large voice.
“Rose-san……?” (Mana)
With a face of staring in puzzlement, Mana was staring at me.
Aah, that non-understanding was annoying.
The fact that she couldn't understand my wrath here was showing the disortion Mana had. Mana Katō had failed a long time ago. What kind of irony was it that the heart of the person herself—who was that sensitive towards the subtleties of other people's hearts—was becoming sc.r.a.p?
“Mana, of all people, please don't say ridiculous things. Everyone will be happy? Such a thing is impossible, is it not. Because Mana isn't in that.” (Rose)
“……aah. Rose-san is kind.” (Mana)
Mana floated a wry smile on her mouth.
“But, you don't have to worry about me. I am not a family member. I'm nothing but a side character in the story of Majimsenpai and his family. ……and besides, my body has died once. After all this, the dreams I have, like becoming happy, won't come true.” (Mana)
To the point of being hopeless, my words hadn't reached Mana. No matter how many times you said『be happy』, if the person themself didn't recognize the value in it, there was no way that something like that would reach.
——It's no good if you kill yourself.
——You can't give up.
——Your wish is something that can be granted.
The words I had received from Mana, I couldn't return even one of them.
No matter what words I spoke of, they had no power. I『didn't understand』what emotions we were harboring, and there was no way I had enough persuasive power to overturn her desicion and have her decide『she understands』.
That was why——that was why? What would I do?
Give up, shut my mouth, and recognize Mana's point while being silent like this?
Then Mana disappears in silence eventually, and we live happily with Master, or something?
……Such a thing, there was no way I could recognize it.
Somehow, I had to tell it to Mana.
I was confident. Mana was mistaken. There was no doubt that she was committing a fatal mistake. Unlike her, she didn't realize that she was making a mistake. Even if she was smiling like she understood, she didn't understand.
That was also natural. For example, even if the current Mana was some kind of monster that accepted her own death, there was no way she could understand anything and everything.
Even Master was being troubled by his immaturity. Mana was one year younger than him. Even if she knew many things better than I did, there would be things that even she didn't understand. I knew that there should have been things Mana didn't understand.
I had to convey that.
……But, I didn't know how I should convey it.
Even though my heart was shouting ‘Mana's actions are incorrect', I couldn't make that clear logically.
It wasn't conveyed. I wasn't able to convey it.
That was irritating. Regrettable. My body shook in disappointment.
Even though I had thought that I had grown a little, could I not save my one friend?
I wonder, why wasn't the path connected to Mana? If only it was like that, then Mana wouldn't have tormented herself until here.
“Mana, I……” (Rose)
Even so, I thought ‘I want to convey it somehow', so I gave up and spun my words poorly.
However, it hadn't been transmitted to Mana.
It wasn't because I failed. Much less because I gave up.
It was because that chance had been lost.
A small sound, was heard.
It was heard from far away. Getting closer. The small sound gradually became bigger, and even sounds of destruction began to be mixed in.
“……an earthquake?” (Rose)
I looked up the slope in front of the cliff where I was together with Mana.
Something was running down the slope, towards this cliff on the mountainside.
The sounds got closer in the blink of an eye. Many of them. The danger was close.
Taking Mana and evacuating this cliff——there wouldn't be enough time. Too many attacks too quickly……
“Th-, this is……tsu!?” (Rose)
Trampled down by ma.s.s and propulsion, thickets broke, and leaves and branches fell as if dancing.
What came into sight, was a large, green catterpillar——a large-build green caterpillar.
It was a monster we'd encountered after coming to this area recently as we moved north from Gerbera's『Arachne Nest』. With strong rush attacks using its large build, it was using its tenacious life force as a weapon.
Speaking clearly, it wasn't a significant enemy.
Even so, I was a rare monster. In addition to that, after becoming Master's family, I had taken down dozens of monsters, during which I acquired battle experience, and my power also was increasing simply. Although I was one or two steps behind Gerbera and Lily-ane-sama in fighting strength, if I fought one-to-one, it wasn't an very difficult opponent even for me.
However, the green caterpillar that came into sight wasn't one.
This was rare, but it wasn't to the point of it being impossible. It was restricted to the same type of monsters, but it was because several of them moving together, despite them not being monsters which flocked like fire fangs, was something that happened once in a while.
That was why, what shook me, was the『number』itself.
“Wh-, what numbers……!?” (Rose)
The green caterpillars—numbered so big that they filled my field of vision—were racing down the slope while slipping through the gaps of trees, or smas.h.i.+ng them.
I think there'd be close to one hundred if I counted. It was a scene which made me doubt ‘are the green caterpillars of the surrounding region gathering?'.
It was a blatant abnormal situation. What the heck was happening?
……No. I didn't have time to think.
Amongst the countless numbers of green caterpillars running down the slope, one o——several of them headed towards the cliff where we were on the path.
The sound of rigid jaws clanging got closer.
In the blink of an eye, their three-each side compound eyes drew near before my very eyes——……
“Mana!” (Rose)
“Kyaaa” (Mana)
Holding Mana in my arms, I leaped back from that spot. One green caterpillar pa.s.sed through the place Mana was until some time ago, and tumbled down the cliff.
A successful evasion. However, I had no time to be relieved.
The level ground on this cliff was small. Even after I leaped back, another green caterpillar's rush was drawing near.
“s.h.i.+——tsu!” (Rose)
It was far too risky to collide with that large build from the front while holding Mana in my arms. The instant I judged so, I threw my one-handed battle axe towards the approaching large caterpillar.
A green caterpillar's life force was high. Killing it with a throwing attack would be difficult. However, I should be able to at least stop its legs by giving it large damage.
Boon, the axe raised a roar.
The magic-covered, black blade ate into the caterpillar's green sh.e.l.l. The thick blade crushed the three compound eyes on one side, snapped apart the thick, solid sh.e.l.l, and almost buried into the head while making a heavy *dosiri* sound.
A critical hit beyond expectation——……and yet, the rush didn't stop.
The large build drew near without even looking like it flinched.
“Impossible……!?” (Rose)
There was no damage? Such a thing was impossible. Its head was split in two. Its movements not stopping for even a second, it was impossible for such a thing to happen. Really, what was happening……
“Ku~, this——tsu!” (Rose)
I didn't have time to intercept with the spare axe on my back.
It was also impossible to avoid. Then, I had no choice but to endure.
While landing, I pushed out my one-arm s.h.i.+eld towards the injured large caterpillar that was attacking.
Holding Mana in both hands, I pushed out the left side of my body like I was supporting the s.h.i.+eld with my head and shoulder, and prepared for the impact——……
“……Gi~, GAHHH!?” (Rose)
A tremendous impact a.s.sailed my doll body.
Under my feet, the ground was very nearly *grind* shaved.
I ended up stopping the attack of its entire body which carried the power of a power-type monster of all things from directly in front, and my relatively fragile joints screamed.
If it remained like this, my body would break somewhere. Even though I knew that, it was impossible for me to jump back and let lose the impact. Behind me was the slope of a fairly steep cliff.
“Gi, gigi, gi…..tsu!” (Rose)
Not being able to completely endure it, my legs slipped.
My toes, which pierced into the ground like rakes, were unable to bear the load, and some popped off.
“Giii……gi, gigi” (Rose)
Where I stopped the rush was a position where if I stepped back another step then we'd roll down the slope, it was really at the last moment.
“Wi-, with this, somehow……” (Rose)
My body was starting to creak at the joints a lot, but even so, I succeeding in enduring it.
I was deeply relieved.
As long as the force that had arrived in the beginning disappeared, a green caterpillar wasn't scary. And, after I lowered Mana to the ground, I could do anything with my hands freely……
“tsu! Not yet, Rose-san!” (Mana)
“——Wha!?” (Rose)
Mana's scream reached me. At that time, I also noticed the situation a beat after.
There was a big shadow that, after going around the green caterpillar's large build, appeared before my eyes.
A large beast-type monster. The body of a bear with the head of a rabbit looked down on me with villainous, red eyes. Its name as a monster, was rough rabbit.
“Guruuuouuo!”
The rough rabbit, which closed in upon me with keen movements in spite of its large build, unlike the green caterpillar, was already raising its thick arm overhead.
……Why was a green caterpillar and a rough rabbit in the same place?
The doubt of such a me was stamped out by its arm which swung downward, and smashed into me.
Possibly because I moved without knowing what I was doing, I didn't remember the before and after clearly.
Before I noticed, I had clung to a steep slope in the middle of the cliff.
“……Ma, na.” (Rose)
What came to my mind first, was about my important friend.
Mana, Mana was——phew. She was all right, I was still carrying her in my arms.
With a pale face, Mana was looking up at me. The grazes made on her face were painful to look at, but it appeared she wasn't seriously injured.
“You, aren't inj……ured, are you? Mana.” (Rose)
Even so, just in case, I checked.
It couldn't be the worse case. Currently, Lily-ane-sama wasn't here. It was absolutely impossible to let Mana get seriously injured.
“Rose-san! Rose-san!” (Mana)
The answer to my checking, was a crying voice.
On Mana's lovely, well-featured face, tears were flowing.
I thought ‘is there something that's making her cry?', and tilted my head a bit.
——*roll*, from my eye socket, my left eye spilled over and fell.
My artificial eye *roll roll* rolled, and fell down the cliff as it was.
In the blink of an eye, it disappeared from sight.
“……Ah.” (Rose)
I remembered.
I was struck in the face by the rough rabbit. The mask I was wearing appeared to have been broken at that time. Guessing from the fact my eyeball rolled down, it appeared that parts of my face I made at great pains were also damaged.
Although, since it was an artificial product, there were no hindrances to the battle mask when the eye fell.
Nevertheless, it'd be better to grasp the situation just in case. While carefully sticking my body to the slope like a lizard, I touched my face with my left arm which wasn't holding Mana.
I couldn't touch it.
There was no end after my left arm's wrist.
……aah. I also remembered this.
I, struck by the rough rabbit, was falling down the steep slope while holding Mana. If the momentum increased and we fell down to the ground as we were, my life aside, Mana's life was in danger. I instantly pierced my left hand into the slope as a break, but since our momentum had increased quite a bit, the rasp was *grind* erased from my fingertips.
The experience of myself being shaved off from the fingertips wasn't a very plesant feeling, but even so, it couldn't be subst.i.tuted by life. Afterwards, I had clung to the slope desperately. That I was able to kill our momentum somehow could be said to be ‘good luck'.
There was also damage on my knee which had been set as if to not push Mana into the cliff, and the clothes I borrowed from Ane-sama had torn here and there. The toes of my feet were buried into the slope, and there were no signs that my toes were left somehow here.
After checking all of those, I turned towards Mana.
“So, Mana. I'll ask you again, are you safe?” (Rose)
“——tsu! About me!” (Mana)
Mana shouted, which was unlike her, and stretched out her hand to my face.
Her palm was put on so as to cover the left side of my broken face.
“Rather than me, is Rose-san all right!? Wound like this……isn't your entire body worn out!” (Mana)
“I don't really mind. Not that much.” (Rose)
“It shouldn't be ‘I don't mind'!” (Mana)
“I don't mind. Because, Mana was safe.” (Rose)
When I said that, Mana's eyebrows hung in the blink of an eye.
It was Mana's facial expression of anger, something truly rare.
“What are you saying! Rose-san, please take care of yourself more!” (Mana)
“I am.” (Rose)
I replied immediately. Mana's lips quivered like she lost her words.
It seemed she understood immediately that I wasn't saying something halfhearted. A thin bewilderence was clinging to her face. To her who was like that, I added words.
“I'm properly taking care of myself. I'm not ignoring it. Because that is something I was taught by Mana, and something Master said as well.” (Rose)
After all this, it went without saying.
I certainly wasn't intelligent, but I thought ‘I'm not making light of that too much'. Even I, was at least one of the growers.
“But, it can't be helped, can it? Because Master is more important than me myself being safe……and that is the same for Mana as well.” (Rose)
“M-, me, you say……?” (Mana)
Mana was clearly confused. Her eyes were open, like she couldn't believe it.
It was unreasonable. I had never even imagined it either, that someone would appear who I'd talk to like my Master.
It was different now.
I could nod my head with confidence, even to Mana's question.
“Yes. That's why, please do not die, Mana.” (Rose)
By protecting Mana frantically, even though I became worn out as a result, I didn't regret it. By recognizing it myself like this, I was able to become aware about what was important to me, and how important it was.
But, that important thing would be lost soon.
When I thought that, I couldn't be chosing my words anymore.
“Please stop saying things like『me』. Please don't disappear. To me, you are needed, Mana.” (Rose)
“Ro-, Rose-san……?” (Mana)
“You said ‘the day you spent with me was fun', didn't you? Haven't you been talking with Master that delightfully? Watching such a Mana, I was really happy. I was happy. That's why——” (Rose)
I stopped thinking about trivial things. I didn't think about things like ‘how should I convey it'. When I decided to shut my mouth by doing that, things like logic had no significance.
I was going to reveal all the feelings inside my chest as it was. It was all right. If it was Mana, surely they would be understood. Placing my trust in that, I informed her.
“——Please live. Please be happy. Even though Mana cannot be happy, my story cannot be a happy ending, can it?” (Rose)
“……ah.” (Mana)
Mana's face became one of astonishment.
It was a face like she noticed her miscalculation.
——In reality, Mana had made a mistake.
Mana wasn't noticing the value in her own happiness. She gave up everything like that from the start, walked with only her feelings towards Master, and continued walking until here. The current state of Mana, who did so, had been completed to the point that she couldn't be helped by me now.
But on the other hand, she recognized the value in the happiness of other people other than herself. Without that, it would be impossible for her to a.s.sist in trying to grant my wish sincerely like that.
Even though Mana had thrown away her own happiness, she couldn't ignored mine. That was a denial of her efforts until now, and most of all, the heart of the girl called Mana Katō couldn't ingore another person.
Mana couldn't ignore my happiness which wouldn't come into existence without her.
In other words, Mana became unable to abandon her own happiness.
“A, uah.” (Mana)
The transient atmosphere that Mana had been clad in the entire time was cleared away.
There wasn't a part like she'd disappear anymore. Mana was here. Certainly, in my arms, she was looking up at me.
“B-, but, there's not, such a thing. There's not such a thing.” (Mana)
The objection she returned was something falterring, to the extent that I couldn't believe it was from that Mana.
“I have no connection at all, to Rose-san's happiness……” (Mana)
“I'll get angry if you say『no connection』or something like that, Mana.” (Rose)
Mana *bikuri* trembled.
I talked to her as gently as I could now, like she was a very young child.
“Wasn't it Mana who proposed ‘I want to be friends'?” (Rose)
“……ah” (Mana)
The sole mistake Mana had made, was here.
Knowing that my important friend would meet a miserable end, I didn't intend to be coldhearted or ruthless enough for just me to be happy.
If she truly wanted to just disappear, Mana shouldn't have become friends with me.
This was a ma.s.sive failure which couldn't be recovered from anymore.
It wouldn't recover.
“Please don't say sad things, and that you have nothing other than your emotions towards Master.” (Rose)
Because she didn't have anything, the existence called Mana Katō was a monster.
If we a.s.sumed that, then at the point in time she got the friend called me, Mana was no longer a monster.
She was just a girl, my important friend.
And, if she was a friend that wasn't a monster, my words could also be delivered.
“Please wish the happiness of a friend to me. Please show me a happy Mana. In the happy end Mana said, me not being together with Mana is unpleasant.” (Rose)
Trying to wipe the tears which started flowing from Mana's eyes again, I noticed that I didn't have a hand for that.
After thinking about it for a while, with my safe hand that was holding Mana, I held her tight in my chest.
Tears soaked into my clothes. Her trembling was transmitted to my body.
“Rose-san. I-, I am……” (Mana)
There weren't any more words beyond that.
Surely, for the first time after coming across that mountain hut, Mana returned to an ordinary girl and cried.
Mana was crying in my chest.
Putting her hands around my back, she clung tightly, and was sobbing without raising her voice.
As a friend, I had a feeling that I wanted to let her cry as much as people like this.
But, it appeared that the situation wouldn't allow that.
“……How inelegant.” (Rose)
“Rose-san……?” (Mana)
When I muttered, Mana raised her face.
Her weeped-out, red eyes started at me.
“I'm sorry. Mana. Could I get you to put your body weight on it and hold on, so we don't fall? As the current me doesn't have one arm.” (Rose)
After confirming that Mana, who nodded, put both arms around my neck, I took the spare battle axe on my back with my free arm.
In the direction I was looking, there was the figure of a monster with a semi-liquid body structure trying to come down the steep slope to here.
“Now it's a slime, huh. ……no. It's not just that?” (Rose)
When I turned my consciousness from the cliff to the outside, there were a great number of shadows running down the mountainside this cliff was on.
There were the figures of magical puppets, the same race as me. Fire fangs, treants, and stub beetles were running down the mountain at their respective speeds. In addition, many monsters we had never seen could be seen, such as praying mantises holding two pairs of sickles in each hand, pitch black shadows from their backs to their top like shadows were pressed together, and huge dogs who had heads as big as their bodies.
The most numerous seemed to be the first vanguard's green caterpillars, but even if it was the all the monsters other than them, it probably wasn't less than five hundred. It was an obviously strange situation.
“Why are that many monsters moving together……?” (Mana)
Mana, who was clinging to the back of my neck, also noticed the situation and had her breath taken away.
As she said, different kinds of monsters appearing at the same time was almost impossible. It was because even though it didn't mean that it always resulted in a battle if they encountered one another, fundamentally different kinds of monsters didn't swarm together.
“Moreover, there are also the figures of monsters which can't be seen in this area, aren't there?” (Rose)
I was able to find the figures of many monsters that didn't inhabit this area, including the rough rabbit that attacked us not long ago.
An abnormal situation was progressing. There was a part of me that wanted to know what was happening as much as possible, but……
I interrupted my thoughts immediately. That could be postponed.
“Mana. I also understand the feeling of wondering. But, first of all we have to overcome the danger before our eyes.” (Rose)
“That's…right.” (Mana)
The slime descending the cliff, slowly but surely, was approaching here.
If it was normal times, it was an opponent not to talk about, but the current me was halfway up a steep slope. I couldn't move normally, and if I moved greatly, then Mana, who was holding on while leaning her body on mine, would be thrown off.
“It's quite a severe situation, what do you plan to do, Rose-san?” (Mana)
“It's all or nothing, should I throw this axe?” (Rose)
“I thought you'd say that, but I think it'd be better to stop. Perhaps, if you do that, that slime will fall down here angularly.” (Mana)
“……Then, let's go down bit by bit while gaining time.” (Rose)
Fortunately, when I paid very close attention, there was a slope which descended. The problem of whether or not the slime would caught up to us……
“I should act first rather than thinking. I'll intercept it if push comes to shove. If we descend down enough, it may be possible to jump down as well.” (Rose)
“I think that's okay as well.” (Mana)
“But, not having one arm is painful.” (Rose)
Difficulties appeared in both descending and intercepting. As the current situation was inevitable, it was necessary to take countermeasures if it overtook this.
“If it's like this, a long-distance attack method or something should have been prepared. Should I always carry spare limbs as well? But, if I do that, the luggage will definitely……” (Rose)
“Rose-san.” (Mana)
When I started going down the slope as quickly as possible yet as carefully as possible without removing my attention from the slime, Mana called my name.
“What is it, Mana?” (Rose)
“Protect me, please?” (Mana)
“——” (Rose)
That she was saying it only now, was something obvious.
That, which appeared in the girl who had accepted disappearing the whole time until now, was a sign of change, without a doubt.
“Yes. Certainly.” (Rose)
I nodded.
This small, delicate, and sensitive friend, I would protect her without fail.
I, who swore that in my tough heart, at that time, saw a white silhouette.
……It looked like, this place wasn't the act I'd leave in.
“Please be careful, Mana. ——She has come.” (Rose)
“Eh? Waaa, kyaaaa!?” (Mana)
Interrupting our descent, I embraced Mana's body once again.
Vibrations rocked the large cliff, I, nearly falling down, clung to the cliff while holding Mana. Tiny pebbles rained incessantly, and the sticky bodily fluids of the burst open slime *drip drip* fell down.
“Art thee okay, Rose-dono?” (Gerbera)
The cloud of dust cleared away, and what was standing there, just as I thought, was an enormous spider.
That figure which grasped the slope firmly with eight legs was surely the optimum figure for this terrain. Even if it wasn't like that, there wasn't something such as combat potential that would match hers.
Gerbera slightly knit her figure's nice eyebrows.
“Thee w're able to do it surprisingly showy. Twas a risky place.” (Gerbera)
“……Falling down from the shock just now is the most dangerous.” (Rose)
“There art no problems regarding that. Because I could make preparations to catch thee if it looked like thee'd fall.” (Gerbera)
Gerbera had an ability called spider thread, so this seemed to be true.
There were various disappointing parts, but there wasn't an existence as reliable as she was in combat. I felt relieved.
“Thank you, Gerbera. You saved us.” (Rose)
“Tis not a big deal. I'll pull thee up, now.” (Gerbera)
When Gerbera came to our side, she firmly fixed our bodies with spider thread. While I was still holding Mana, she started walking up the cliff.
“However, it looks like it's become quite the strange situation. That mob surged forward until where I was.” (Gerbera)
It seemed that Gerbera went to meet the large flock of those monsters. It appeared that even Gerbera, who had lived longer than me, didn't happen to know what was happening.
“Was Gerbera safe?” (Rose)
“It needn't be asked. I crus.h.i.+ngly defeated those who came to me. What was out of my range was released, as expected. It was endless if it was that much……besides, I was worried about Rose-dono and others. When I found Rose-dono and others basically on the middle of the cliff, I thought my heart might sto……” (Gerbera)
Gerbera, who dragged us to the top of the cliff, at that time, suddenly stopped mid sentence. I wonder what was wrong.
When I, who pulled my body on top of the cliff along with Mana who was clinging to my neck, looked up at the beautiful face of Gerbera who had opened her red eyes wide, I turned towards what was reflected in her eyes.
And, the same as Gerbera, I was at a loss for words.
“The fortress is……” (Mana)
The voice of the dumbfounded Mana echoed on the cliff.
Countless monsters, flocking as if they were insects, were at the figure of the huge fortress.
Translator's Notes
¹ - Not entirely sure what this is trying to say. ‘未熟な心を持て余していたわたしに手を差し伸べたのだって、いまはともかく、その最初の理由は、わたしがご主人様の眷族だったからというのが少なからずあったはずだ。' ▲
² - This means ‘Once you suspect something, everything else will look suspicious'. ▲
³ - Not sure what the first part of the sentence was trying to say. 口元には相変わらずあるかないかの笑みをたたえ、どこか刹那的な雰囲気をまとった真菜は告げた。 ▲
Editor's Notes
Thank G.o.d we're done with the long monologues "A Doll's" arc. Let's hope there's some decent action in the next chapter and internal monologues. Gerbera's talking style is pretty d.a.m.n hard to write as someone who wouldn't touch Shakespeare's texts with a ten foot pole.
-Upsilon
So, I have good news, and I have bad news. Good news is, every chapter until the end of this volume is 6000ish or more words, so you'll have a lot of long chapters to read. Bad news is….well, it might take me longer to do said long chapters.
Also, I've decided to only translate author notes that are important (explain things, etc).
If you guys notice anything wrong, please let me know!
-Thy Unsus
