Chapter 19
Chapter 19 – As a Family, as a Master

I have returned to my country .

We returned back to the surface after the funeral ceremony for the victims of the sea of trees .

Why I felt a sense of freedom on returning, I felt like it wasn’t just the feeling of claustrophobia due to the enclosed s.p.a.ce . It was more due to the fact that the underground mausoleum we had just been in had a rather unique ma.s.s of air .

“Did Takahiro-dono and Miho-dono have any plans to join the training after this?” (Silane)

On returning, I thought we would be parting ways with this but Silane made a proposal to us .

“I heard from the Leader a while ago that the other heroes will complete their training soon . So… . er since you missed training because you had to accompany me in my circ.u.mstances, I, despite being forward, am thinking of trying to teach you about spearsmans.h.i.+p and swordsmans.h.i.+p, so how about it?” (Silane)

Honestly, it wasn’t a bad proposal .

While the training I had done with Gerbera wasn’t meaningless, it just helped to accustomed myself to battle . However, I had no experience regarding handling weapons .

Although Gerbera was an excellent combatant, she had no knowledge of martial arts despite wielding an overwhelming combat power . It was natural that she was unable to teach things she hadn’t learned . However, it was necessary for the weak to acquire some combat ability so we didn’t hold back people around us .

In a way, Silane’s suggestion wasn’t a bad idea .

Although we had known each other for a very short period, I knew Silane’s character to an extent . When it came to the Heroes』……no, even if the other party wasn’t us, if she had judged that『they have the ability to train themselves』, she would not have made such an offer . I figure we could at least get more training than what the other heroes got .

In any case, Silane had already realised that I could handle magical power and there was no reason for me to hide that or be in fear of revealing something I shouldn’t have . Because there were no other transitioned people around us, I felt at ease . Also, if I trained even once in any way, I could use that as an excuse to avoid partic.i.p.ating in future training sessions .

I exchanged looks with Lily, and and faced Silane after confirming her nod .

“Then, can I leave it to you?” (Majima)

“Yes . ” (Silane)

Silane nodded and smiled happily . The tense atmosphere also faded with her doing so . I was reminded that she was a young lady of a marriageable age, a side of hers she didn’t show . Perhaps even she would open her heart somewhat

Then, Kei, having washed her weeping face, came back, and we all moved to the military drill field .

When we reached the field, I realized that my calculations had gone amiss . After the training for the heroes was done, the field was occupied by regular soldiers for their training .

We could have made s.p.a.ce for us if we had been unreasonable and demanded them to leave, but it felt awkward to abuse our authority as heroes . After all, a field that s.p.a.cious wasn’t needed . In the end we moved to another smaller room to commence the martial arts training with Silane .

However, the number of thing we could do in a single day was limited . The day ended with just me learning how to swing a sword .

But there were a lot of things I had yet to learn, from training my body movements in combat to setting the sword tendonᴬ . I thought that Silane was a good teacher . That being said, putting my skills into practice would take much more time .

On the other hand, Lily had completed her training quickly and studied just by observing .

This wasn’t particularly because she wanted to skip out but to make sure that her bizzare physical strength from being a monster wasn’t revealed .

In actuality, there was also one act similar to changing the type of sweat that flowed . ᴮ

“Takahiro-dono’s magical power handling, it is something unique . ” (Silane)

My face which was burning from all that exercise lost all colour at once

My magical power handling was something that I learnt from Gerbera——the white arachne that was a high monster . Since the magic power I have was something I received from Gerbera and the other members of my family, it was likely that the quality of the magic power was different from that of other people . By no means did I completely understand it .

“Did you know such a thing?” (Majima)

“This is a trait of spirit users . If you don’t excel in handling magical power, you wouldn’t be suited to sympathize with spirits . ” (Silane)

>Mostly, I had a feeling that the elves were also cheats .

This might be the reason for them being being persecuted .

“I was self-taught . The magical power handling may also be something different from the ordinary soldiers that Silane knows . ” (Majima)

“No . Even if you were self-taught, usually, magical power should not flow like that . ” (Silane)

“……I-is that so . If that’s the case, that’s right . Isn’t it because I am a transitioned person? Originally, I wasn’t a person of this world . ” (Majima)

“I see . Certainly, it may be so . If it’s a hero-sama, whatever happens isn’t strange, is it?” (Silane)

Although there was one hiccup, the rest of the time went by without anything going awry .

In the end, I continued training non stop until evening .

It was also a room without windows, and it had become evening when I noticed .

For us who missed out on eating dinner, Silane made arrangements for dinner to be carried to our room, and Kei provided drinking water and a cloth to wipe the sweat for me who had finished training .

Lily was happily meddling as I wiped off my sweat after having finished training . Although she was also an escort that had watched over my training the whole time, she had been having fun for such a long time that she seemed to be bored .

“Whaaat?” (Lily)

“……Nothing . ” (Majima)

As I stared fixedly, Lily had noticed and turned this way . I shook my head .

Seeing her having fun was very pleasant to me . I decided to let Lily who was meddling with humming mixed in to do as she likes .

I returned to my room with Lily after giving Silane my thanks for making the arrangements dinner .

I washed my body with the hot water Kei brought in my room, then changed into a jersey and ate the food she brought for dinner .

Today, I also had to do it with Ayame and others which had made me feel uneasy .

Both the cute Ayame in a straight ball, and Asarina whose appearance was strange, were precious comrades to me . I was healed by just playing around with them . Play-biting, pressing me with her snout, and twining around me . Perhaps, it may be that I’m being looked after by them . To the extent that it appeared so, it was a time of rest .

That being said, I was completely fatigued .

After playing with Ayame and others for a little while, I lied down on the bed . A heavy sigh leaked out naturally .

I had moved my body around quite a bit today……but it wasn’t just that . I was tired, mentally .

Since I’d come to this fortress, I’ve been constantly bracing myself except for when I was in the room . Such, it seemed to be the same as when I had been in the sea of trees where I was on guard for attacks of monsters; my intuition was serious here .

Monsters except for my family attacked me immediately when they noticed my figure . Was it black or white?ᶜ When I was in the sea of trees, it was an easy thing to deal with it certain meaning .

But, human beings weren’t . If I had to say, they were grey . I had to be on guard against every human that pa.s.sed by, and it was unbearable as attacks from this way weren’t allowed despite all that .

Because I had spent time in the fortress all day today, my fatigue was building up accordingly .

Was it fortunate that it wasn’t something like ‘great pains but all in vain’¹? There were numerous things that I was able to understand by coming here . At the same time, the fact that there were no signs at all that the problem would be resolved, was troubling . It felt the situation was becoming more and more complicated .

I needed to talk with Lily to reflect about today . I knew that . However, my consciousness gradually faded away as I looked up at the ceiling——……

“……Ah, Master, have you woken up?” (Lily)

——Before I knew it, it seemed I had fallen asleep . I held my forehead and raised a small groan .

“……How long have I slept?” (Majima)

“It wasn’t a long time to that extent . Right now, I think it hasn’t pa.s.sed midnight . ” (Lily)

Lily’s face was turned sideways in front of me . We were on the bed as she held my head which was on her thighs .

In other words, Lily had given me a lap pillow . The distance was close . The sweet smell of a girl was strongly fragrant .

Ayame had curled into a ring and was raising a sleeper’s breathing in the other bed already . Asarina had sensed that we started to talk, shook her head unsteadily, and peeped at the situation .

“Lily?” (Majima)

And, Lily .

She was in a posture where I was sleeping on her lap, and was staring this way with a serious look . Her appearance was strange .

“……What happened?” (Majima)

“It’s nothing . ” (Lily)

Lily quietly shook her head . Actually, the room with Ayame’s sleep breathing *kuu kuu* resounding in it was peaceful . Therefore, wasn’t there something that happened now?

I thought back upon the things that had happened today right away . However, I wasn’t able to recall any event that would cause Lily to make such a face .

Rather, I thought it looked like Lily was in a good mood the whole time today .

Both when I had talked with Mikihiko, and when I had trained with Silane, she had gazed at me happily .

If I thought about it from now, to the extent that it seemed a little strange, she should have been in a good mood .

“Master . ” (Lily)

Lily, who called out to me, floated a smile on her well-featured looks .

Her sweet girlish smile was like a sugar confectionary . However, even though her face had a smile, I could notice there was something she was trying to hide behind that smile .

“Hey, Master . It’s about what we will do in the future after this . I have a proposal . ” (Lily)

Before I asked what, Lily spoke . Even though I was perplexed by the topic that she brought up abruptly, I began to ask a question .

“Have you thought of something?” (Majima)

On top of hiding my ability, I’d acquire the magic stone of translation, learn the method to use it, and leave this fortress . Then, I’d construct a supply route for materials from a village somewhere, and find Katō-san’s guardian .

Although it was something I talked about around noon, the degree of difficulty was high . Currently, I didn’t have any promising ideas myself .

“Yup . I thought about two ideas . ” (Lily)

“Two, as well?” (Majima)

Lily smiled and nodded to my surprise, and extended her hand to my cheek .

Her palm stroked my cheek . Her emotions were transmitted through the path .

……What I felt was a strong will . Below her smiling face, Lily was prepared for something . Strong and tough, I could feel her intention to convey it . This made me feel uneasy .

She was calm like a lake’s surface without even one ripple, and for this reason, with a voice in which the determination could be sensed in her heart, Lily spoke of that proposal .

“One is to part with us . ” (Lily)

“……” (Majima)

“You pretend that you do not have things like the ability to communicate with monsters and lead them . If you do so, then Master can continue to live peacefully in this world together with all of the other transitioned people . ” (Lily)

Lily’s look like that, it looked calm and serene .

“The other transitioned people are trying to live as heroes now, but I think that someday people who will choose a way of life that isn’t like that will also appear . Everyone isn’t limited by waking up their ability successfully, and even if it isn’t so, they can’t continuously match the pace . ² It’s fine if Master acts together with people like that . ” (Lily)

Currently, the 3 ‘Scouting Corps’ members that came to the fortress, Juumonji, Watanabe, and Eno, seemed to be unifying the group skillfully .

However, following what Lily said, it wasn’t necessarily like that indefinitely . For example, Sakagami, but as far as I saw from that att.i.tude this morning when he had quarrelled with the ‘Scouting Corps’, it seemed it was just a matter of time before he was out of the circle of fellows .

Even without that, there would be those who were sick of fighting . Whether or not it was defiant, at this time, it wasn’t a significant problem . Now, the feeling of solitary or the some kind of reality escape of j.a.panese people at the time of danger, although it was poured into the atmosphere of the place, the transitioned students who were born and raised in modern-day j.a.pan had their sense of values as is .

Those who wished to live peacefully, they must come out soon .

Up to here, I was able to understand the things Lily was saying . However, regarding the proposal that she spoke of based on that, it was a completely different story .

It wasn’t a story that I could nod to no matter what . It was a problem of before consideration . In spite of me wanting to live together with everyone, I wasn’t able to make a choice like abandoning my family .

However, the one who understood my thoughts like that the best, it should have been Lily who was before my eyes .

I didn’t understand . Why had Lily suggested such a thing? Even though she should have known things like my reply to her……

I didn’t understand . Why had Lily suggested such a thing? Even though she should have known things like my reply to her……

“I want to hear Master’s response . Please . Answer . ” (Lily)

Lily’s whispering voice licked my earlobe .

What was she thinking about?

It wasn’t like she wasn’t thinking of anything .

I trusted her . More than anyone in this world .

Lily proposed this because she thought of something .  If so, for me to answer here, there must have been some sort of meaning .

Besides, above all, her heart that I had felt through her palm which was wrapped around my cheek, I understood she was wanting a response .

If that’s the case, there was no room to bear hesitation to respond to that .

“I cannot accept that proposal . I can’t even consider it . ” (Majima)

While saying so, I also extended one hand to Lily’s cheek .

Soft . Warm . Lovely .

The warmth and the feel of this fingertip was important, that I won’t part with it, I thought about it from the bottom of my heart, and I also didn’t intend to conceal that .

“I don’t intend to part with you all . Absolutely not, no matter what happens” (Majima)

My facial expression, words, and emotions were transmitted through the path . They should have been transmitted without leaving out anything .

As proof of that, Lily was smiling and looked really happy .

“Thank you, Master . Sorry for saying my selfishness . I wanted to hear those words . ” (Lily)

Come to think of it, Lily had said『I want to hear your reply』 . So it was something she knew even without me saying it out aloud yet she wanted those words to come out of my mouth . This, was it a thing like that?

“Yup . Because of me, too, my preparedness was set at last . ” (Lily)

Lily spoke of the word ‘preparedness’ . At this rate, that which I had felt some time ago, it seemed it wasn’t something regarding separating from me .

When I thought about it, she had mentioned that she had two proposals . Surely, the exchange now was to strengthen her resolution needed to speak about the second one; it was probably something like a ritual of some sorts .

“Can you tell me it? About your proposal?” (Majima)

“Yup . Although I said that, I didn’t mean that I had an extraordinary idea in particular . Rather than that, it is impossible for there to be such a thing . Surely a similar idea might have popped in your mind too, and I think you have been aware of it, haven’t you?” (Lily)

Lily changed her smile into something a little bitter .

“The problem we are having, to do it in some way or another with just us, saying it clearly, is impossible . ” (Lily)

“……That is . ” (Majima)

“Especially obtaining the magic stone of translation and learning the way to use it . The difficulty to pull it off in this place while covering our tracks and without arousing any suspicions is too high . ” (Lily)

“……” (Majima)

It was something I was unable to refute .

In reality, even if a good idea came to my mind it wasn’t like it could be relied on . It was something I was aware of to some extent but couldn’t deny .

However, what should we do if that was the case?

It wasn’t something to try to do with just us . It was a stalemate .

If that was the case, what was the best thing for me to do?

……Such a reply had been decided .

“……We should find collaborators, is it?” (Majima)

“It’s a thing like that . ” (Lily)

Whether or not she had expected the idea I finally reached, Lily nodded immediately .

“Talk about our circ.u.mstances and request cooperation . I think it’s fine to leave parts out that we are better off not talking about . For example, so……that you are thinking about leaving this fortress, and that you don’t want that to be known by someone else . I think it’s fine even with you talking about around that . ” (Lily)

That, it was a very decent proposal .

So far, it was fine with that if we fought against monsters that were foreign enemies and cooperated with our fellow comrades . Were they family or foe? The structure was very simple, dealing with it itself was the one option of battle if you disregarded the degree of difficulty, which was something simple in a certain meaning .

However, this place wasn’t the inside of the sea of trees . It was the domain of humans . The fact that it didn’t go like up until here, was something natural .

All of these things, were things that I had realized even before this .

But even so, the alternative of『making collaborators』was something I had not taken into consideration so far was largely because because of my own distrust of humans .

However, it would be purposeless to stop those thoughts in this place .

Certainly, human beings were living things that betrayed . That disastrous scene of that colony was proof . That was a tragedy that was caused by foolish human beings .

However . It didn’t mean that all human beings were like that .

For example, Mana Katō . She had saved me . In addition, she even knew that she was being distrusted by me . The existence of her that was a friend of Rose, it was one proof that this world wasn’t full of betrayals only .

I didn’t mean that everyone who was living in this world betray every trust . It was a natural fact that may have not been recognized by the me of before .

The me of today could take Lily’s proposal as something valid . Seeing that we weren’t able to break the deadlock in the situation with us alone, the existence of collaborators was something indispensable .

Of course, there was the possibility of being betrayed .

Therefore, what I should do as the leader that lead the group was to see through the people who were in front of my eyes .

If I couldn’t do that, I shouldn’t have left the sea of trees . While listening to the sounds of destruction which slowly crept up, I should have lived the short rest of my life quietly .

If I couldn’t do that, I shouldn’t have left the sea of trees . While listening to the sounds of destruction which slowly crept up, I should have lived the short rest of my life quietly .

……so . I knew that . In a sense .

If you understood without difficulty that emotions were about the same, life would be something even easier for everyone .

That was to say, making collaborators where secrets were frankly spoken about was nothing other than believing in others more or less .

By just thinking about that, unpleasant things *s.h.i.+ver s.h.i.+ver* creeped up my spine .

The stench of iron filled my nostrils, flames flickered in my field of vision, the pain was revived in my entire body, and crooked smiles invaded my brain .

My heart was thirsty . My entire body felt rotten . With the sensation of my head shaking irregularly, I chewed my back teeth .

To give into this and stop thinking was simply depending on others’ kindness . As a leader, I must carry out my duty . If that was necessary, I must overcome this disgusting memory .

……But, would I really be able to do that?

Illnesses of the mind . Trauma . The truth of death that was a festering wound that stayed in my heart and the betrayal that I hadn’t even told to Mikihiko .

Although it was clichéd if said in words, this curse that was coiled about my mind like a slime wasn’t something that was easy to solve like that .

In order for a weak person like me to overcome this, something was necessary——

“It’s okay . ” (Lily)

——My field of vision was suddenly filled .

Moving her hand that had been touching my cheek, Lily covered the surroundings of my eyes with her palm .

A resounding voice that was sweeter than usual penetrated into my ears that had been covered in the darkness .

“Do you remember when I met you in that cave?” (Lily)

“……Yeah . I remember . It is impossible to forget . ” (Majima)

Although I was a little perplexed by her suddenly asking a question, I replied immediately .

For me who had given up on survival once with the despair, how much of a salvation was Lily’s existence? Forgetting about that time wouldn’t be possible until I died .

“For me, that is an important memory . It was the first memory I had been born with . At that time, Master had wished from the bottom of his heart that『someone help』 . I heard that voice, desired it, and this『me』that was named ‘Lily’, had received a name for the first time in this world…… . ” (Lily)

Lily was talking about her memory with a heartrending voice as if she was embracing an important treasured item……she put the following words on her tongue .

“However, Master who begged『save me』before fainting, wasn’t it towards me, who was a monster? There’s no way for a monster to do things like helping themselves, because Master at that time wasn’t supposed to think . So, what is the opponent that Master had asked for help from……” (Lily)

‘Such a thing was decided, right?’, and Lily showed signs of a smile .

For me whose line of sight was blocked, her smiling face wasn’t seen .

I wasn’t even able to confirm whether or not she was really smiling or not .

“While Master is saying he cannot believe in things like human beings, he had believed in another person on the last line . If that’s the case, I think that is the truth for Master . ” (Lily)

“The truth for me……?” (Majima)

“Yup . Precisely because Master is like that, we were born and are in this place now . So, it’s okay . ” (Lily)

I realized that Lily’s voice was trembling just a little .

“Both when you were talking with Shumoko-kun, and when you were training with Silane-san, Master seemed to be having a lot of fun . I was happy to see it . ” (Lily)

“Lily……?” (Majima)

“After deciding to accept Katō-san, Master was kind to that child . Even when she collapsed before coming to this place, you were like that . With you worrying about that child without even any hesitation, you may have not noticed it yourself……” (Lily)

Lily moved her palm from above my eyes .

“Master’s wounds are beginning to heal already . Afterwards, even if there is one excuse of some kind, Master should move forward . ” (Lily)

My field of vision developed . In that place, there was the smiling face of a girl who was more lovely than anyone to me .

However, if she had been smiling as is from beginning to end, there would have been no reason for her to obstruct my field of vision .

“Sorry, Master . ” (Lily)

Lily turned down her gaze a little .

“Earlier, I should have said this to Master . I was anxious . Master was reconciling with humans . Perhaps, the might come where our family cannot be at Master’s side . ” (Lily)

This was the first time I had been informed about the anxiety that Lily had been harbouring .

Even so, if I looked up at the anxious face of Lily whose eyebrows were raised while she floated a thin smile on her mouth, I understood that it was anxiety that had tormented her heart for a long time until now .

“There is no way I will do something like abandoning Lily and others . ” (Majima)

“Yup . I know that . ……but, I was anxious . ” (Lily)

She had become anxious precisely because it was something really important . In other words, that was also proof of her longing that she was turning towards me .

“That I can stay by Master’s side is because I happened to meet Master by chance back then, at that occasion . However, following what I said some time ago, Master shouldn’t have requested for a.s.sistance from me who was a monster……therefore, ‘wasn’t that place originally a place where another person should have been’, I continuously had thoughts like that . I am only an imitation no matter where I go, so maybe I am nothing but an elaborate imitation of someone who Master requested a.s.sistance from……” (Lily)

The things Lily was saying, didn’t miss the mark entirely .

For example, let’s say that it wasn’t Lily that saved me, but someone else, a human being .

That I was saved from the desperate crisis, or I would have feelings of tremendous trust for her . Being saved from the depths of despair had that much meaning . In reality, Mikihiko who was in very similar circ.u.mstances held feelings of deep affection towards the leader of the Order of Knights . If there was something different, I wasn’t able to deny that I thought our positions had changed .

Of course, it was simply a meaningless a.s.sumption .

The one that saved me in reality, it was Lily who was here . That alone was a fact, and that alone was something important to me .

However, that would not be settled for Lily . Just saying『you can consider it so』was an unfulfilled promise already . And the unfulfilled promise would give birth to thoughts of『I shouldn’t have been there originally』 . This was the source of her anxiety . ᴰ

If she was a human, for example, the anxiety of this sort wouldn’t have been born .

However, that would not be settled for Lily . Just saying『you can consider it so』was an unfulfilled promise already . And the unfulfilled promise would give birth to thoughts of『I shouldn’t have been there originally』 . This was the source of her anxiety . ᴰ

If she was a human, for example, the anxiety of this sort wouldn’t have been born .

I was a human being, and Lily was a monster . Even so, I loved Lily, and Lily loved me dearly as well .

But, we were also different living things . That anxiety arising in some form was some kind of inevitability .

“That I couldn’t say it until now, I’m sorry . ” (Lily)

“Please don’t apologize, Lily . ” (Majima)

I shook my head .

“What is important isn’t that you were silent . At this time where it was really necessary, you conveyed that with your words . ” (Majima)

“Master……” (Lily)

“Lily who is like this now was encouraging me even though you were being crushed by anxiety . This is a scene where I should be thanking you, not where you apologize . ” (Majima)

Lily was fighting the anxiety within herself . She fought it, conquered it, and gave me the necessary words . With her saying thanks, it was by no means a scene to say a complaint in .

“Lily is strong . ” (Majima)

“……No . It’s not like that . ” (Lily)

Shaking her flaxen hair, Lily denied my praise .

Looking into my eyes, she quietly spoke in a tone of voice like she was opening her heart about her secret .

“So it came to be that I was speaking about my anxiety that was inside of me in this way without holding anything back, isn’t it because Master was relying on me?” (Lily)

“……Ah . ” (Majima)

I remembered Lily’s tears that I saw one day . Thanks to Lily who cried『I want you to rely on me』and『Don’t bear it alone』, I understood how to face them, mainly my family members, and it reached the point that I was relying on them after that .

That supported the Lily of now .

Changing the fact that she could be dependable into her own power, Lily floated a smile . She was proud that that was how she was as a family member .

I had been fascinated by her like that, something tied to me suddenly, and I noticed I was losing a lot of power . ³

What was stuck inside my memories, were smiles that was warped and driven by madness .

Nevertheless, the girl who was fighting anxiety was floating a strong smile before my eyes now .

I didn’t even bother with weighing my options to know which one was a bigger thing to me .

Simply put, I was the same as Lily . The most important thing for me now was to be a Master for them .

Even though she was doing her best as a family member, what would the weak me do as their master? That thought, it pa.s.sed through a single core to the existence called me . ᴱ Her existence was supporting the weak me .

It was truly nice to meet Lily in that cave .

Just as I thought so, the love towards the girl before my eyes burst open .

“Lily . ” (Majima)

When I noticed it, I had stretched the hand that was touching Lily’s cheek, and was pulling the back of her head towards myself .

Although her posture was somewhat unreasonable, Lily was submissive, rather, she brought my head from myself without even embracing me .

The outlines of our lips touched so that they overlapped . The act gradually got more intense .

I wanted to convey the feelings that were inside of this heart . That came true if I desired for it intently . Our feelings melted together, and the boundaries between us became fuzzy .

“……Master . ” (Lily)

The love that called out during the interval of breathing, it caused the last remaining reason to numb . Lily, who *lick* licked her lips with the tip of her bright red tongue, diverted her bewitched eyes aside for just a moment .

“Sorry, Asarina . Please allow me to monopolize Master for just one night, okay?” (Lily)

Following that line of sight, there were numerous tentacles that were extended from Lily’s one arm that had turned back into the body tissue of a slime unnoticed .

A tentacle twined around Asarina’s vine body, and she gently imprisoned it in the back of my left hand . Another one also stretched long, and dropped the illumination that was there .

In the darkness again, long breaths approached and mixed .

Ahead from there, we were fine with just thinking about each other .

Translator’s Notes

¹ – An expression meaning ‘a waste of effort’, etc .  

² – I don’t exactly know what she is trying to say there . ‘全員が自分の力に目覚めるとも限らないし、` 

³ – Not entirely sure what this line is trying to say . ‘そんな彼女に見蕩れていたおれは、ふと自分を縛り付けていたものが、随分と力を失くしていることに気付いた。’ 

Editor’s Notes

A: No clue setting the sword tendon means, pretty much relying on the raws for that one .  

B: No clue what the context is here, Hoovy has no clue either .  

C: I’m guessing the black and white here refers to how monsters are either good or bad, ie his family or his enemies and the decision involved was simple and straightforward .  

D: Majima’s being way too philosophical as always .  

E: Left this bit unedited just as the raws say just to show how old Majima sounds at times . I swear the dude talks like a octogenarian talking on his deathbed 

Chapter 19 As a Family, as a Master I have returned to my country . We returned back to the surface after the funeral ceremony for the victims of the sea of trees . Why I felt a sense of freedom on returning, I felt like it wasn t just the feeling of claustrophobia due to the enclosed s.p.a.ce . It was more due to the fact that the underground mausoleum we had just been in had a rather unique ma.s.s of air . Did Takahiro dono and Miho dono have any plans to join the training after this Silane On returning, I thought we would be parting ways with this but Silane made a proposal to us . I heard from the Leader a while ago that the other heroes will complete their training soon . So . er since you missed training because you had to accompany me in my circ.u.mstances, I, despite being forward, am thinking of trying to teach you about spearsmans.h.i.+p and swordsmans.h.i.+p, so how about it Silane Honestly, it wasn t a bad proposal . While the training I had done with Gerbera wasn t meaningless, it just helped to accustomed myself to battle . However, I had no experience regarding handling weapons . Although Gerbera was an excellent combatant, she had no knowledge of martial arts despite wielding an overwhelming combat power . It was natural that she was unable to teach things she hadn t learned . However, it was necessary for the weak to acquire some combat ability so we didn t hold back people around us . In a way, Silane s suggestion wasn t a bad idea . Although we had known each other for a very short period, I knew Silane s character to an extent . When it came to the Heroes no, even if the other party wasn t us, if she had judged that they have the ability to train themselves , she would not have made such an offer . I figure we could at least get more training than what the other heroes got . In any case, Silane had already realised that I could handle magical power and there was no reason for me to hide that or be in fear of revealing something I shouldn t have . Because there were no other transitioned people around us, I felt at ease . Also, if I trained even once in any way, I could use that as an excuse to avoid partic.i.p.ating in future training sessions . I exchanged looks with Lily, and and faced Silane after confirming her nod . Then, can I leave it to you Majima Yes . Silane Silane nodded and smiled happily . The tense atmosphere also faded with her doing so . I was reminded that she was a young lady of a marriageable age, a side of hers she didn t show . Perhaps even she would open her heart somewhat Then, Kei, having washed her weeping face, came back, and we all moved to the military drill field . When we reached the field, I realized that my calculations had gone amiss . After the training for the heroes was done, the field was occupied by regular soldiers for their training . We could have made s.p.a.ce for us if we had been unreasonable and demanded them to leave, but it felt awkward to abuse our authority as heroes . After all, a field that s.p.a.cious wasn t needed . In the end we moved to another smaller room to commence the martial arts training with Silane . However, the number of thing we could do in a single day was limited . The day ended with just me learning how to swing a sword . But there were a lot of things I had yet to learn, from training my body movements in combat to setting the sword tendon . I thought that Silane was a good teacher . That being said, putting my skills into practice would take much more time . On the other hand, Lily had completed her training quickly and studied just by observing . This wasn t particularly because she wanted to skip out but to make sure that her bizzare physical strength from being a monster wasn t revealed . In actuality, there was also one act similar to changing the type of sweat that flowed . Takahiro dono s magical power handling, it is something unique . Silane My face which was burning from all that exercise lost all colour at once My magical power handling was something that I learnt from Gerbera the white arachne that was a high monster . Since the magic power I have was something I received from Gerbera and the other members of my family, it was likely that the quality of the magic power was different from that of other people . By no means did I completely understand it . Did you know such a thing Majima This is a trait of spirit users . If you don t excel in handling magical power, you wouldn t be suited to sympathize with spirits . Silane Mostly, I had a feeling that the elves were also cheats . This might be the reason for them being being persecuted . I was self taught . The magical power handling may also be something different from the ordinary soldiers that Silane knows . Majima No . Even if you were self taught, usually, magical power should not flow like that . Silane I is that so . If that s the case, that s right . Isn t it because I am a transitioned person Originally, I wasn t a person of this world . Majima I see . Certainly, it may be so . If it s a hero sama, whatever happens isn t strange, is it Silane Although there was one hiccup, the rest of the time went by without anything going awry . In the end, I continued training non stop until evening . It was also a room without windows, and it had become evening when I noticed . For us who missed out on eating dinner, Silane made arrangements for dinner to be carried to our room, and Kei provided drinking water and a cloth to wipe the sweat for me who had finished training . Lily was happily meddling as I wiped off my sweat after having finished training . Although she was also an escort that had watched over my training the whole time, she had been having fun for such a long time that she seemed to be bored . Whaaat Lily Nothing . Majima As I stared fixedly, Lily had noticed and turned this way . I shook my head . Seeing her having fun was very pleasant to me . I decided to let Lily who was meddling with humming mixed in to do as she likes . I returned to my room with Lily after giving Silane my thanks for making the arrangements dinner . I washed my body with the hot water Kei brought in my room, then changed into a jersey and ate the food she brought for dinner . Today, I also had to do it with Ayame and others which had made me feel uneasy . Both the cute Ayame in a straight ball, and Asarina whose appearance was strange, were precious comrades to me . I was healed by just playing around with them . Play biting, pressing me with her snout, and twining around me . Perhaps, it may be that I m being looked after by them . To the extent that it appeared so, it was a time of rest . That being said, I was completely fatigued . After playing with Ayame and others for a little while, I lied down on the bed . A heavy sigh leaked out naturally . I had moved my body around quite a bit today but it wasn t just that . I was tired, mentally . Since I d come to this fortress, I ve been constantly bracing myself except for when I was in the room . Such, it seemed to be the same as when I had been in the sea of trees where I was on guard for attacks of monsters my intuition was serious here . Monsters except for my family attacked me immediately when they noticed my figure . Was it black or white When I was in the sea of trees, it was an easy thing to deal with it certain meaning . But, human beings weren t . If I had to say, they were grey . I had to be on guard against every human that pa.s.sed by, and it was unbearable as attacks from this way weren t allowed despite all that . Because I had spent time in the fortress all day today, my fatigue was building up accordingly . Was it fortunate that it wasn t something like great pains but all in vain There were numerous things that I was able to understand by coming here . At the same time, the fact that there were no signs at all that the problem would be resolved, was troubling . It felt the situation was becoming more and more complicated . I needed to talk with Lily to reflect about today . I knew that . However, my consciousness gradually faded away as I looked up at the ceiling Ah, Master, have you woken up Lily Before I knew it, it seemed I had fallen asleep . I held my forehead and raised a small groan . How long have I slept Majima It wasn t a long time to that extent . Right now, I think it hasn t pa.s.sed midnight . Lily Lily s face was turned sideways in front of me . We were on the bed as she held my head which was on her thighs . In other words, Lily had given me a lap pillow . The distance was close . The sweet smell of a girl was strongly fragrant . Ayame had curled into a ring and was raising a sleeper s breathing in the other bed already . Asarina had sensed that we started to talk, shook her head unsteadily, and peeped at the situation . Lily Majima And, Lily . She was in a posture where I was sleeping on her lap, and was staring this way with a serious look . Her appearance was strange . What happened Majima It s nothing . Lily Lily quietly shook her head . Actually, the room with Ayame s sleep breathing kuu kuu resounding in it was peaceful . Therefore, wasn t there something that happened now I thought back upon the things that had happened today right away . However, I wasn t able to recall any event that would cause Lily to make such a face . Rather, I thought it looked like Lily was in a good mood the whole time today . Both when I had talked with Mikihiko, and when I had trained with Silane, she had gazed at me happily . If I thought about it from now, to the extent that it seemed a little strange, she should have been in a good mood . Master . Lily Lily, who called out to me, floated a smile on her well featured looks . Her sweet girlish smile was like a sugar confectionary . However, even though her face had a smile, I could notice there was something she was trying to hide behind that smile . Hey, Master . It s about what we will do in the future after this . I have a proposal . Lily Before I asked what, Lily spoke . Even though I was perplexed by the topic that she brought up abruptly, I began to ask a question . Have you thought of something Majima On top of hiding my ability, I d acquire the magic stone of translation, learn the method to use it, and leave this fortress . Then, I d construct a supply route for materials from a village somewhere, and find Kat san s guardian . Although it was something I talked about around noon, the degree of difficulty was high . Currently, I didn t have any promising ideas myself . Yup . I thought about two ideas . Lily Two, as well Majima Lily smiled and nodded to my surprise, and extended her hand to my cheek . Her palm stroked my cheek . Her emotions were transmitted through the path . What I felt was a strong will . Below her smiling face, Lily was prepared for something . Strong and tough, I could feel her intention to convey it . This made me feel uneasy . She was calm like a lake s surface without even one ripple, and for this reason, with a voice in which the determination could be sensed in her heart, Lily spoke of that proposal . One is to part with us . Lily Majima You pretend that you do not have things like the ability to communicate with monsters and lead them . If you do so, then Master can continue to live peacefully in this world together with all of the other transitioned people . Lily Lily s look like that, it looked calm and serene . The other transitioned people are trying to live as heroes now, but I think that someday people who will choose a way of life that isn t like that will also appear . Everyone isn t limited by waking up their ability successfully, and even if it isn t so, they can t continuously match the pace . It s fine if Master acts together with people like that . Lily Currently, the 3 Scouting Corps members that came to the fortress, Juumonji, Watanabe, and Eno, seemed to be unifying the group skillfully . However, following what Lily said, it wasn t necessarily like that indefinitely . For example, Sakagami, but as far as I saw from that att.i.tude this morning when he had quarrelled with the Scouting Corps , it seemed it was just a matter of time before he was out of the circle of fellows . Even without that, there would be those who were sick of fighting . Whether or not it was defiant, at this time, it wasn t a significant problem . Now, the feeling of solitary or the some kind of reality escape of j.a.panese people at the time of danger, although it was poured into the atmosphere of the place, the transitioned students who were born and raised in modern day j.a.pan had their sense of values as is . Those who wished to live peacefully, they must come out soon . Up to here, I was able to understand the things Lily was saying . However, regarding the proposal that she spoke of based on that, it was a completely different story . It wasn t a story that I could nod to no matter what . It was a problem of before consideration . In spite of me wanting to live together with everyone, I wasn t able to make a choice like abandoning my family . However, the one who understood my thoughts like that the best, it should have been Lily who was before my eyes . I didn t understand . Why had Lily suggested such a thing Even though she should have known things like my reply to her I want to hear Master s response . Please . Answer . Lily Lily s whispering voice licked my earlobe . What was she thinking about It wasn t like she wasn t thinking of anything . I trusted her . More than anyone in this world . Lily proposed this because she thought of something . If so, for me to answer here, there must have been some sort of meaning . Besides, above all, her heart that I had felt through her palm which was wrapped around my cheek, I understood she was wanting a response . If that s the case, there was no room to bear hesitation to respond to that . I cannot accept that proposal . I can t even consider it . Majima While saying so, I also extended one hand to Lily s cheek . Soft . Warm . Lovely . The warmth and the feel of this fingertip was important, that I won t part with it, I thought about it from the bottom of my heart, and I also didn t intend to conceal that . I don t intend to part with you all . Absolutely not, no matter what happens Majima My facial expression, words, and emotions were transmitted through the path . They should have been transmitted without leaving out anything . As proof of that, Lily was smiling and looked really happy . Thank you, Master . Sorry for saying my selfishness . I wanted to hear those words . Lily Come to think of it, Lily had said I want to hear your reply . So it was something she knew even without me saying it out aloud yet she wanted those words to come out of my mouth . This, was it a thing like that Yup . Because of me, too, my preparedness was set at last . Lily Lily spoke of the word preparedness . At this rate, that which I had felt some time ago, it seemed it wasn t something regarding separating from me . When I thought about it, she had mentioned that she had two proposals . Surely, the exchange now was to strengthen her resolution needed to speak about the second one it was probably something like a ritual of some sorts . Can you tell me it About your proposal Majima Yup . Although I said that, I didn t mean that I had an extraordinary idea in particular . Rather than that, it is impossible for there to be such a thing . Surely a similar idea might have popped in your mind too, and I think you have been aware of it, haven t you Lily Lily changed her smile into something a little bitter . The problem we are having, to do it in some way or another with just us, saying it clearly, is impossible . Lily That is . Majima Especially obtaining the magic stone of translation and learning the way to use it . The difficulty to pull it off in this place while covering our tracks and without arousing any suspicions is too high . Lily Majima It was something I was unable to refute . In reality, even if a good idea came to my mind it wasn t like it could be relied on . It was something I was aware of to some extent but couldn t deny . However, what should we do if that was the case It wasn t something to try to do with just us . It was a stalemate . If that was the case, what was the best thing for me to do Such a reply had been decided . We should find collaborators, is it Majima It s a thing like that . Lily Whether or not she had expected the idea I finally reached, Lily nodded immediately . Talk about our circ.u.mstances and request cooperation . I think it s fine to leave parts out that we are better off not talking about . For example, so that you are thinking about leaving this fortress, and that you don t want that to be known by someone else . I think it s fine even with you talking about around that . Lily That, it was a very decent proposal . So far, it was fine with that if we fought against monsters that were foreign enemies and cooperated with our fellow comrades . Were they family or foe The structure was very simple, dealing with it itself was the one option of battle if you disregarded the degree of difficulty, which was something simple in a certain meaning . However, this place wasn t the inside of the sea of trees . It was the domain of humans . The fact that it didn t go like up until here, was something natural . All of these things, were things that I had realized even before this . But even so, the alternative of making collaborators was something I had not taken into consideration so far was largely because because of my own distrust of humans . However, it would be purposeless to stop those thoughts in this place . Certainly, human beings were living things that betrayed . That disastrous scene of that colony was proof . That was a tragedy that was caused by foolish human beings . However . It didn t mean that all human beings were like that . For example, Mana Kat . She had saved me . In addition, she even knew that she was being distrusted by me . The existence of her that was a friend of Rose, it was one proof that this world wasn t full of betrayals only . I didn t mean that everyone who was living in this world betray every trust . It was a natural fact that may have not been recognized by the me of before . The me of today could take Lily s proposal as something valid . Seeing that we weren t able to break the deadlock in the situation with us alone, the existence of collaborators was something indispensable . Of course, there was the possibility of being betrayed . Therefore, what I should do as the leader that lead the group was to see through the people who were in front of my eyes . If I couldn t do that, I shouldn t have left the sea of trees . While listening to the sounds of destruction which slowly crept up, I should have lived the short rest of my life quietly . so . I knew that . In a sense . If you understood without difficulty that emotions were about the same, life would be something even easier for everyone . That was to say, making collaborators where secrets were frankly spoken about was nothing other than believing in others more or less . By just thinking about that, unpleasant things s.h.i.+ver s.h.i.+ver creeped up my spine . The stench of iron filled my nostrils, flames flickered in my field of vision, the pain was revived in my entire body, and crooked smiles invaded my brain . My heart was thirsty . My entire body felt rotten . With the sensation of my head shaking irregularly, I chewed my back teeth . To give into this and stop thinking was simply depending on others kindness . As a leader, I must carry out my duty . If that was necessary, I must overcome this disgusting memory . But, would I really be able to do that Illnesses of the mind . Trauma . The truth of death that was a festering wound that stayed in my heart and the betrayal that I hadn t even told to Mikihiko . Although it was clich d if said in words, this curse that was coiled about my mind like a slime wasn t something that was easy to solve like that . In order for a weak person like me to overcome this, something was necessary It s okay . Lily My field of vision was suddenly filled . Moving her hand that had been touching my cheek, Lily covered the surroundings of my eyes with her palm . A resounding voice that was sweeter than usual penetrated into my ears that had been covered in the darkness . Do you remember when I met you in that cave Lily Yeah . I remember . It is impossible to forget . Majima Although I was a little perplexed by her suddenly asking a question, I replied immediately . For me who had given up on survival once with the despair, how much of a salvation was Lily s existence Forgetting about that time wouldn t be possible until I died . For me, that is an important memory . It was the first memory I had been born with . At that time, Master had wished from the bottom of his heart that someone help . I heard that voice, desired it, and this me that was named Lily , had received a name for the first time in this world . Lily Lily was talking about her memory with a heartrending voice as if she was embracing an important treasured item she put the following words on her tongue . However, Master who begged save me before fainting, wasn t it towards me, who was a monster There s no way for a monster to do things like helping themselves, because Master at that time wasn t supposed to think . So, what is the opponent that Master had asked for help from Lily Such a thing was decided, right , and Lily showed signs of a smile . For me whose line of sight was blocked, her smiling face wasn t seen . I wasn t even able to confirm whether or not she was really smiling or not . While Master is saying he cannot believe in things like human beings, he had believed in another person on the last line . If that s the case, I think that is the truth for Master . Lily The truth for me Majima Yup . Precisely because Master is like that, we were born and are in this place now . So, it s okay . Lily I realized that Lily s voice was trembling just a little . Both when you were talking with Shumoko kun, and when you were training with Silane san, Master seemed to be having a lot of fun . I was happy to see it . Lily Lily Majima After deciding to accept Kat san, Master was kind to that child . Even when she collapsed before coming to this place, you were like that . With you worrying about that child without even any hesitation, you may have not noticed it yourself Lily Lily moved her palm from above my eyes . Master s wounds are beginning to heal already . Afterwards, even if there is one excuse of some kind, Master should move forward . Lily My field of vision developed . In that place, there was the smiling face of a girl who was more lovely than anyone to me . However, if she had been smiling as is from beginning to end, there would have been no reason for her to obstruct my field of vision . Sorry, Master . Lily Lily turned down her gaze a little . Earlier, I should have said this to Master . I was anxious . Master was reconciling with humans . Perhaps, the might come where our family cannot be at Master s side . Lily This was the first time I had been informed about the anxiety that Lily had been harbouring . Even so, if I looked up at the anxious face of Lily whose eyebrows were raised while she floated a thin smile on her mouth, I understood that it was anxiety that had tormented her heart for a long time until now . There is no way I will do something like abandoning Lily and others . Majima Yup . I know that . but, I was anxious . Lily She had become anxious precisely because it was something really important . In other words, that was also proof of her longing that she was turning towards me . That I can stay by Master s side is because I happened to meet Master by chance back then, at that occasion . However, following what I said some time ago, Master shouldn t have requested for a.s.sistance from me who was a monster therefore, wasn t that place originally a place where another person should have been , I continuously had thoughts like that . I am only an imitation no matter where I go, so maybe I am nothing but an elaborate imitation of someone who Master requested a.s.sistance from Lily The things Lily was saying, didn t miss the mark entirely . For example, let s say that it wasn t Lily that saved me, but someone else, a human being . That I was saved from the desperate crisis, or I would have feelings of tremendous trust for her . Being saved from the depths of despair had that much meaning . In reality, Mikihiko who was in very similar circ.u.mstances held feelings of deep affection towards the leader of the Order of Knights . If there was something different, I wasn t able to deny that I thought our positions had changed . Of course, it was simply a meaningless a.s.sumption . The one that saved me in reality, it was Lily who was here . That alone was a fact, and that alone was something important to me . However, that would not be settled for Lily . Just saying you can consider it so was an unfulfilled promise already . And the unfulfilled promise would give birth to thoughts of I shouldn t have been there originally . This was the source of her anxiety . If she was a human, for example, the anxiety of this sort wouldn t have been born . I was a human being, and Lily was a monster . Even so, I loved Lily, and Lily loved me dearly as well . But, we were also different living things . That anxiety arising in some form was some kind of inevitability . That I couldn t say it until now, I m sorry . Lily Please don t apologize, Lily . Majima I shook my head . What is important isn t that you were silent . At this time where it was really necessary, you conveyed that with your words . Majima Master Lily Lily who is like this now was encouraging me even though you were being crushed by anxiety . This is a scene where I should be thanking you, not where you apologize . Majima Lily was fighting the anxiety within herself . She fought it, conquered it, and gave me the necessary words . With her saying thanks, it was by no means a scene to say a complaint in . Lily is strong . Majima No . It s not like that . Lily Shaking her flaxen hair, Lily denied my praise . Looking into my eyes, she quietly spoke in a tone of voice like she was opening her heart about her secret . So it came to be that I was speaking about my anxiety that was inside of me in this way without holding anything back, isn t it because Master was relying on me Lily Ah . Majima I remembered Lily s tears that I saw one day . Thanks to Lily who cried I want you to rely on me and Don t bear it alone , I understood how to face them, mainly my family members, and it reached the point that I was relying on them after that . That supported the Lily of now . Changing the fact that she could be dependable into her own power, Lily floated a smile . She was proud that that was how she was as a family member . I had been fascinated by her like that, something tied to me suddenly, and I noticed I was losing a lot of power . What was stuck inside my memories, were smiles that was warped and driven by madness . Nevertheless, the girl who was fighting anxiety was floating a strong smile before my eyes now . I didn t even bother with weighing my options to know which one was a bigger thing to me . Simply put, I was the same as Lily . The most important thing for me now was to be a Master for them . Even though she was doing her best as a family member, what would the weak me do as their master That thought, it pa.s.sed through a single core to the existence called me . Her existence was supporting the weak me . It was truly nice to meet Lily in that cave . Just as I thought so, the love towards the girl before my eyes burst open . Lily . Majima When I noticed it, I had stretched the hand that was touching Lily s cheek, and was pulling the back of her head towards myself . Although her posture was somewhat unreasonable, Lily was submissive, rather, she brought my head from myself without even embracing me . The outlines of our lips touched so that they overlapped . The act gradually got more intense . I wanted to convey the feelings that were inside of this heart . That came true if I desired for it intently . Our feelings melted together, and the boundaries between us became fuzzy . Master . Lily The love that called out during the interval of breathing, it caused the last remaining reason to numb . Lily, who lick licked her lips with the tip of her bright red tongue, diverted her bewitched eyes aside for just a moment . Sorry, Asarina . Please allow me to monopolize Master for just one night, okay Lily Following that line of sight, there were numerous tentacles that were extended from Lily s one arm that had turned back into the body tissue of a slime unnoticed . A tentacle twined around Asarina s vine body, and she gently imprisoned it in the back of my left hand . Another one also stretched long, and dropped the illumination that was there . In the darkness again, long breaths approached and mixed . Ahead from there, we were fine with just thinking about each other . Translator s Notes An expression meaning a waste of effort , etc . I don t exactly know what she is trying to say there . Not entirely sure what this line is trying to say . Editor s Notes A No clue setting the sword tendon means, pretty much relying on the raws for that one . B No clue what the context is here, Hoovy has no clue either . C I m guessing the black and white here refers to how monsters are either good or bad, ie his family or his enemies and the decision involved was simple and straightforward . D Majima s being way too philosophical as always . E Left this bit unedited just as the raws say just to show how old Majima sounds at times . I swear the dude talks like a octogenarian talking on his deathbed