Chapter 6: Savior at Drunken Homeland


Original novel written by Gu Long

Fan translation by Meh (Send an email)

The driver suddenly jumped up, took off his shirt, then welcomed the snow and wind with his bare chest.

Like a horse he started to pull the carriage.

Li Xun Huan did not stop him, because he knows that the driver needs a place to vent his frustrations. But as the carriage door closed, Li Xun Huan still could not help but shed a tear.

After an hour, they arrived at Cow village [the same village Guo Jing/Yang Kang抯 parents lived at. Ok, not really, but...].

Cow village is a very tight little town. It抯 not dark yet, but the snow has stopped. Every household is trying to shove away the snow in their front yard.

But when they saw the driver pulling the carriage running into town, they were astonished. Some even got scared and ran back to their homes.

Of course there抯 a wine store in this town.

The people here have never seen anyone with such strength. So as the driver walked up to the wine store, most of the customers got scared and left.

The driver put three chairs together. Then put a clean cloth on the chairs. Then carried Li Xun Huan into the store, so he can sit comfortably.

Li Xun Huan looked as if he has no blood left on his face. So everyone can see that he is seriously ill. The store has opened for twenty years, yet has never seen a person about to die to come drink wine. Everyone just stared at him.

The driver hit the table hard, yelling loudly, 揋et me some wine. Your very best! If you watered it down just a little bit, I抣l take your heads.�

Li Xun Huan looked at him, then smiled. 揧ou know, for the past twenty years, only today did you show the character of 慖ron Armor Golden Steel�.�

The driver抯 body flinched, as if he was shocked by this t.i.tle. Yet he still managed to laugh loudly. 揑 can抰 believe young master you still remember this name. I already forgot.�

Li Xun Huan said, 揧ou... you should break your resolution and have a drink today.�

The driver said, 揂lright! Today however much young master drink, I抣l match.�

Li Xun Huan also laughed along loudly. 揟he fact that I can make you drink again means that I didn抰 live this life in vain.�

Others, seeing at them laugh so happily, couldn抰 help but look their way. No one can figure out how a near-death person can be so happy.

The wine isn抰 the best, but at least it's not watered down.

The driver said, 揧oung master, allow me to be so bold, I wish to propose a toast to you.�

Li Xun Huan was about to drink to it, but he couldn抰 hold his cup firmly, wine spilled out. As he coughs, he also tried to get the wine off his shirt, yet still laughing, 揑抳e never spilled wine before, but today...�

He laughed again, 揟his shirt has been with me for so many years, I really should reward it with some wine. Come, brother shirt, thank you for providing me with warmth all these years, I give you a toast.�

He then poured the rest of the wine on his own shirt.

The manager and the workers looked at him, saying to themselves, 揟his person抯 not only ill, he抯 also crazy.�

The two kept on drinking and drinking, with Li Xun Huan must use both hands to hold the cup firmly.

The driver then hit the table again. 揕ife is so unfair. If only I would never awaken from being drunk. Unfortunately, unfortunately...�

Li Xun Huan said, 搚ou should be happy today. What抯 all this 憉nfair�, 憂ever awaken� stuff? One should just live life the fullest [Excuse me for not really translating this proverb. I don抰 even understand it fully myself.]�

The driver laughed once more. 揧ou抮e Right, Right!� Then his face hit the table with a thud.

Li Xun Huan抯 face is filled with grat.i.tude, saying to himself, 揟hese twenty years, if it weren抰 for you, I... I probably would not have survived. Although I know your reasons, but doing this really is beneath you. Hopefully you can reclaim your status and fame of old. If so, although I...�

The driver suddenly jumped up again, saying, 揧oung master you should not say such unpleasant words, ruining the mood.�

They suddenly laugh and suddenly cry, both cry and laugh.

The manager and the workers looked at each other. 揕ooks like they抮e both crazy.�

At this instant, they heard person rushing in, 揥ine. Wine. Get me some wine quickly.�

From his look, it seems that he抎 die if he does not drink immediately.

The manager said to himself, 揕ooks like another crazy person.�

Only to see this person wear a blue shirt that抯 been washed to the point its now white. His nails filled with dirt. Although wearing a scholarly hat, his hair is all messed up. His face looks both yellow and thin. A look of a poor scholar.

The worker brought a bottle of wine.

Who抎 have thought that this poor scholar would not use a cup, instead holding the bottle and already drank over half of it, but then blew it back out again, yelling, 揧ou call this wine? This is vinegar, plus it抯 watered down vinegar...�

That worker said, 揑ts not that we don抰 have good wine, but...�

That poor scholar said, 揧ou think I don抰 have money? Here, take this.�

He just waved his hand, and gave 50 teals of silver.

Every customer and worker are incredibly shocked. So this time they brought out the best wine.

Again, the poor scholar did not bother with cups, and drank the whole bottle in one gulp. Then just sat there without moving. Everyone else figured he must抳e drank too fast and something happened. But Li Xun Huan knows that he抯 just savoring the taste.

After a while, he finally let out a breath. His eyes and face bright now. 揂lthough the wine sucks, at a place like this, I guess I can抰 expect anything better.�

The manager laughed along, saying, 揑抳e been saving that bottle for over ten years now.�

The scholar suddenly hit the table, saying, 揘o wonder the taste is not thick, give me some newer wine, only fermented three levels, then bring some food to go with the wine.�

揥hat kind of food do you want?�

揑 know that in a c.r.a.ppy place like this, you can抰 bring out anything good. Just get me a Wind Chicken and spicy fried crow intestine [yuck!], make sure the intestine抯 very spicy and there抯 no feather on the chicken.�

This person looks really poor, yet he really knows how to eat and drink. Li Xun Huan couldn抰 help but find him really interesting. Under normal circ.u.mstances, he would at least ask this person to drink with him. But now, he might fall at any time. So he doesn抰 want to meet any more people.

That person just kept drinking alone, drinking very fast.

It seems that other than wine, nothing else matters to him.

At this time, the sound of horses came, and stopped in front of the store. This person抯 face suddenly changed a bit.

He got up ready to leave. Then looked at the wine on the table, then sat down again. Drinking three more cups while savoring the intestines.

Only to hear someone say, 揥hat a drunkard, where do you think you抮e going?�

Another person said, 揑 told you we can find him in a wine store.�

At this time, five to six people came in, surrounding the poor scholar. They all look like they have pretty good kung fu.

A tall, thin man with a horse whip pointed at the poor scholar抯 nose saying, 揧ou took our gold, yet you won抰 cure illness for us, escaped to here to drink, what the h.e.l.l抯 going on?�

The poor scholar smile, 揝o you don抰 understand what抯 going on? It抯 just that I needed a drink. You should know that when Mr. Mei Er* needs a drink, he doesn抰 even care if the sky falls, much less someone抯 illness.�

*[The word 慐r� here is the number 2. So Mr. Mei Er means his last name is 慚ei�, and he抯 the second child in the family.]

A dot-faced guy said, 揃ig brother Zhao, did you hear? We already know this drunkard is a horrible person. Once the money抯 on his hand, he no longer cares about others.�

The first man said, 揥ho doesn抰 know this drunkard抯 personality? But he must cure the fourth brother抯 illness. We needed to find a doctor, so what else could we have done?�

Li Xun Huan originally figured these people came for revenge, now after hearing their conversation, knows that this Mei Er is a doctor who just takes money but doesn抰 cure patients.

While these people kept yelling, he still kept sitting very still. Simply kept drinking.

Zhao threw out his whip, hitting the wine bottles and cups, yelling, 揝top procrastinating, since we found you, you better come with us to help the patient. If the fourth brother gets well again, I guarantee you抣l have plenty of wine to drink.�

That Mr. Mei Er just looked at the broken wine cups, took a deep sigh, then said, 揝ince you know about my temper, you should know that I won抰 treat three types of people.�

揥hich three?�

揘umber one, I don抰 treat those who don抰 pay up front. If they pay a penny less, I won抰 cure them.�

One of the man said, 揥e gave you plenty of money!�

Mr. Mei Er continued, 揘umber two, I don抰 treat those who are rude to me. Number three, I most certainly don抰 treat thugs, thieves, and killers.�

He then sighed, shaking his head. 揧ou broke the last two rules, yet still expect me to treat him? You抮e dreaming.�

Those people said, 揑f you don抰 treat him, then we抣l kill you.�

揈ven if you kill me I still won抰 treat him!�

The dot-faced guy went up and hit him, sending him flying into the air, blood coming out of his mouth.

Li Xun Huan originally figured this doctor was hiding his skills. Now he knows that the doctor might have a tough mouth, but not a tough body.

Big brother Zhao took out his knife, saying, 揑f you say the 憂o� word half more time, I抣l first cut off an arm before talking again.�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揥hen I say no I mean no. Why would I be afraid of little thugs like you guys?�

Big brother Zhao wanted to go forward, but the driver suddenly hit the table, speaking loudly, 揟his is a place to drink wine, if you抮e not here to drink, leave immediately!�

This sound was loud as thunder, scaring even Zhao. 揥ho the h.e.l.l are you? You dare to b.u.t.t in on my business?�

Li Xun Huan smiled, saying, 揌aving them just leave is no fun. Ask them to crawl out.�

揧oung master asked you people to crawl out. Heard him?�

Big brother Zhao saw that this person is ill and has no energy, plus extremely drunk, so he got up the courage to say, 揝ince you guys are so bold, let me cut you open.�

His saber glowed, slicing towards Li Xun Huan.

The driver immediately extended his arms, trying to intercept the saber. Yet he抯 already drunk, looking as if he抯 trying to catch the saber with his arm.

The manager got scared, thinking his arm would get chopped off. Who would抳e thought that while the arm stayed, the saber went into midair. Even Zhao was shocked big time, saying, 揟his person抯 kung fu can actually make him impenetrable by weapons, looks like we met a ghost.�

The dot-faced guy also got scared, forcing a laugh while saying, 揚lease tell us your name, my friend. Looks like we needed to fight to meet. Let抯 be friends from now on.�

The driver said coldly, 揧ou抮e not worthy of being my friend. Get out!�

Zhao jumped up, saying, 揧ou should not be so rude. It抯 not good to make an enemy of us, if...�

Before he can finish, the dot-faced guy suddenly side something into Zhao抯 ear, looking at Li Xun Huan抯 dagger at the same time.

Zhao抯 face turned even whiter, saying, 揑t can抰 possibly be him.�

揥ho else can it be? I heard half a month ago from Old Turtle that he came back from the borders. Old Turtle remember him from a long time ago. He can抰 be wrong.�

Zhao said, 揃ut this drunkard...�

揟his person抯 very into eating, drinking, women, and gambling, plus his health has never been good. But his dagger...�

When he got to saying this dagger, his voice changed. 揟here抯 no need to make enemy with someone like him.�

Zhao laughed, 揑f I knew he was here, even if someone put a knife on my neck, I still wouldn抰 come in here.�

He then coughed twice and bowed while laughing. 揕ittle me really has eyes but no eyeb.a.l.l.s, didn抰 recognize old man you. Sorry to intrude on old man your [you can tell I抦 getting really lazy with all these 憀iteral� translations, eh? ] drinking. Little man me really deserve to die. Now I抣l scram.�

It抯 not clear whether or not Li Xun Huan heard him. He just kept drinking, kept coughing, as if nothing had happened.

Those men who came in like tigers, now had left quietly as dogs. It抯 only now that Mr. Mei Er got up, yet he didn抰 thank Li Xun Huan. Instead got up on the chair while yelling. 揥ine! Give me some wine.�

The worker just looked confused, not believing that this was the person that just got whacked.

The other customers had already left by now, leaving only those three people. All drank continuously, not talking at all.

Li Xun Huan looked outside the window, suddenly smiling.擳his wine thing is really peculiar. The more you want to stay awake, the quicker you become drunk. The more you want to be drunk, the more you can抰 get drunk.�

Mr. Mei Er suddenly also chuckled, saying, 揋etting drunk solves thousands of problems, It抯 best to be drunk till death. But unfortunately, heaven would not let them die so peacefully.�

The driver raised his eyebrows as Mei Er walked wobbly towards their table, looking at Li Xun Huan. 揇o you know how much longer you have to live?�

揘ot long.�

揑f you know that you can抰 live long, why don抰 you take care of the things necessary before death, instead of coming here to drink?�

Li Xun Huan said, 揥hy should such unimportant things such as life and death get in the way of drinking?�

Mei Er clapped his hands, laughing. 擱ight. Right. Life and death is a small matter. Drinking is a major matter. Your words really fit my tastes.�

He then suddenly opened his eyes, saying, 揑 guess you know who I am now, right?�

Li Xun Huan replied, 揘ot yet.�

揧ou really don抰 know me?�

The driver suddenly cut in. 揑f he says he doesn抰 know then he really doesn抰 know. Why so repet.i.tive?�

Mr. Mei Er still stared at Li Xun Huan saying, 揕ooks like you didn抰 save me to cure your illness.�

Li Xun Huan laughed. 揑f you want to drink some wine, we can drink together. If you抮e here to treat an illness, then I suggest you leave. Don抰 waste my drinking time.�

Mr. Mei Er continued to stare at Li Xun Huan for a long time, then said. 揝o lucky. So lucky. You know, you抮e so lucky you met me.�

Li Xun Huan said, 揑 have no money to pay. Plus I抦 not much different from robbers and thieves. You can leave now.�

Who would抳e thought that Mei Er would shake his head saying, 揘o No No. It抯 okay for me not to treat others� illnesses. But I have to treat yours. If you don抰 let me treat you, you have to kill me first.�

The driver suddenly lit up his eyes. 揧ou really can cure him?�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揙ther than Mei Er, no one else in the world can treat him.�

The driver got up and tugged his shirt, asking, 揇o you know what illness he has?�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揑f I don抰 know then who would know? You really think Sixth brother Flower really can come up with that 慍old Chicken Powder�?�

揅old Chicken Powder? The poison is Cold Chicken Powder?�

Mr. Mei Er chuckled. 揙ther than the Mei family 慍old Chicken Powder�, what other poison can possibly kill Li Xun Huan?�

The driver抯 shocked and rejoiced. 揧ou mean, Flower Bee抯 poison was made by you?�

Mei Er laughed out loud. 揙ther than 慖ngenious Middle Man� Mr. Mei Er, who could possibly mix this poison? Looks like you are not knowledgeable at all, not knowing even this.�

The driver抯 now happy beyond belief. 揝o the poison was made by him! Young master, you抮e saved!�

Li Xun Huan just laughed bitterly. 揕ooks like while it抯 hard for a person to live, it抯 also hard for him to peacefully die.�

They抮e on the carriage again. The driver抯 now taking care of Li Xun Huan but also keeping note of Mr. Mei Er.

He抯 still not satisfied, asking, 揑f you can cure his poison, then why do you need to find someone else?�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揑抦 not looking for another person, just my big brother. He抯 near. Don抰 worry. If I say I would treat a person, then there抯 no way that person can possibly die.�

揥hy do you need to find him?�

揃ecause he has the antidote. Are you satisfied now?�

This time he really did shut up.

Mr. Mei Er shook his head laughing. 揑 can抰 believe someone would practice a type of kung fu this stupid. Other than against some street thugs, its useless.�

The driver coldly replied, 揝tupid kung fu is better than no kung fu.�

Oddly enough, Mr. Mei Er is not mad at all. He continued to smile. 揑 heard that to practice this kung fu, one must be a virgin. Don抰 you think that this sacrifice might be a tad to much?�

揌umph.�

Mei Er continued. 揑 heard that in the past fifty years, only one person was stupid enough to learn this kung fu. This person抯 慖ron Armor Golden Steel� Tie Zhuan Jia. But twenty years ago someone threw him over the cliffs, and no one knew from that point whether he抯 alive or not. Maybe he didn抰 die. Maybe he can still drink wine.�

It抯 as if the driver抯 mouth has been shut. No matter what Mei Er says or asks, he can抰 respond.

Mr. Mei Er could only close his eyes, recovering some strength.

After a while, the driver opened his mouth again. 揑 heard that the 慡even Ingenious People� all don抰 care much for their faces [here it means reputation]. Yet you don抰 look so.�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揑 took those people抯 gold, then won抰 agree to cure him. You think that抯 not bad enough?�

揑f you actually agreed to cure him, then you抳e really lost your face. Taking money and treating the patient are two different things. There抯 no reason not to take money from those people.�

Mr. Mei Er said, 揕ooks like you抮e not totally stupid.�

The driver then said, 揟hose that everyone thinks are devious might not all be devious. Yet of those people said to be gentlemen, how many really are a gentleman?�

Li Xun Huan just sat on the chair smiling. As if he抯 listening to the conversation, yet also seems to be wandering elsewhere.

Looking outside, the snow has turned everything white.

If one can stay alive, then it抯 still a good thing.

Another person抯 image suddenly appeared in Li Xun Huan抯 head.

She抯 wearing a purple dress. Plus she has a light purple cape over her shoulders. Standing in the pure white background, she looks like a pretty purple Luo Lan [I can抰 find this word in the dictionary. It seems to be the name of a flower, though.].

He remembers that she loves snow the most. Every time there抯 snow, she would pull him to the garden, hit him with a s...o...b..ll, then dare him to catch her.

He remembers that day he took Long Xiao Yun home, it also snowed. She was sitting in the pavilion of the plum garden, looking at the snow on the plum trees.

He remembers that the columns are red. Yet as she抯 sitting by the columns, both the columns and the plum trees all lost their color.

He did not see Long Xiao Yun抯 reaction at that time. But later he can imagine, Long Xiao Yun抯 heart must抳e already been broken.

Now, is that pavilion still the same? Does she still sit there often, counting the plum flowers?

Li Xun Huan raised his and smiled towards Mr. Mei Er. 揟here抯 wine in the carriage. Let抯 have a drink.�

Snow, falling sometimes, stopping sometimes.

Under the guidance of Mei Er, the carriage turned onto a small road, up to a small bridge. Then can抰 cross over.

The driver carried Li Xun Huan over the bridge, only to see a shack within the plum forest. A sound suddenly came from the forest, as they got closer, a properly dressed man is telling two kids to pour water on the snow filled trees.

The driver said quietly, 揟his is Mr. Mei Da*?�

*[慏a� means 慴ig�. In this case, it shows that he抯 the eldest child of the family.]

Mei Er replied. 揙ther than this idiot, who would use water to clean off the ice and snow on trees?�

The driver could not help but laugh. 揧ou mean he doesn抰 know that he by pouring the water, snow will still remain on the tree, while the water will become ice?�

Me Er sighed, laughing bitterly. 揌e can tell the authenticity of any artwork by one look. He can instantly mix the most potent poison and the most potent antidote. Yet he can抰 figure out some of the most basic logics.�

As they speak, Mei Da turned his head to look at them, as if looking at a bunch of annoying kids, instantly losing the color on his face. Saying, 揌urry! Hurry up and hide all the precious paintings. Don抰 let him see it, then go trade it for some wine.�

Mei Er smiled. 揃ig brother. Don抰 worry. I already had my wine today. I just came to bring two friends...�

Before he can finish, Mei Da already covered his eyes, saying, 揑 don抰 want to see your friends. Your friends are all terrible. If I see one, I抣l be destined to have three years of bad luck.�

Mei Er also became annoyed, saying, 揊ine. You look down at me. You don抰 think I can possibly find any nice friends. Come, Li Tan Hua, let抯 leave.�

The driver suddenly said, 揥here抯 the antidote? How can we leave now?�

Who would抳e thought that Mei Da抯 expression suddenly changed. 揧ou mean that family with seven members to pa.s.s the imperial examinations, father-son three people [the third person implies Li Xun Huan抯 brother] all became Tan Hua, THAT Li Tan Hua?�

Mei Er said coldly. 揧ou know of another Li Tan Hua?�

Mei Da looked at Li Xun Huan. 揟his one?�

Li Xun Huan said, 揧es. I am the one.�

Mei Da looked over him up and down, suddenly held his hand, laughing loudly. 揊amous for twenty years, I can抰 believe I finally get to meet you. Brother Li.�

He actually became extremely nice after knowing who the guest is.

Mei Da then said, 揗r. Li, please excuse my rude remarks earlier. It抯 just that much brother is so terrible. Two years ago, he led two people to my house, saying they抮e art aficionados. Who抎 have thought that when I showed them my precious paintings, they exchanged two with blank papers! I was so p.i.s.sed I couldn抰 sleep for three months.�

Li Xun Huan laughed too. 揗r. Mei Da should not blame him. When one抯 drinking urges start to come out, yet don抰 have money for wine, that抯 also a very nasty feeling.�

Mr. Mei Da said with a smile. 揕ooks like brother Li is also this type of person.�

Li Xun Huan smiled along. 揇rinking can make people be in heaven [this is a really bad translation of a proverb].�

Mei Da said, 揋reat. Qi He, stop with cleaning the tree. Go in and take that twenty year old Zhu Ye Qing [A type of wine, roughly translated as 慻reen bamboo leaf抅. Let brother Li here taste it. This wine抯 been in there for all these years, the purpose is to keep someone as famous as brother Li here.�

Mei Er said, 揟his is actually quite true. When other guests come, not only does he not bring out wine, he doesn抰 even bring out vinegar. However, brother Li is not here to drink wine.�

Mei Da just needed to take one look at Li Xun Huan, then said, 揟he poison is a small problem. Brother Li just don抰 worry and drink. I know how to take care of the other things.�

After three rounds, Mei Da suddenly asked, 揑 heard that the extremely rare 慟ing Ming Da He Tu� [must be a famous painting, but I抳e never heard of it] is in your mansion. Is this true?�

Now Li Xun Huan knows why he抯 so eager to greet them. 揑t is true.�

Mei Da became happy beyond belief. 揝o can you bring it over some time for me to look at?�

Li Xun Huan replied, 揑f Mr. Mei Da wanted to see it, I really should not refuse. But alas, I gave the painting, as well as the rest of my property, to someone else.�

Mr. Mei Da looked as if someone hit him on the head with a stick. Just kept mumbling, 搒o unfortunate... so unfortunate...�

Then he said, 換i He, put away the rest of the wine. Li Tan Hua here is done drinking.�

Mei Er said, 揝o without 慟ing Ming Da He Tu�, there抯 no wine?�

Mei Da said coldly, 揗y wine抯 not here for people to drink.�

Not only is Li Xun Huan not mad, he actually smiled. He feels that while this person is extremely fickle, he抯 also quite innocent, at least better than those fake gentlemen.

But the driver couldn抰 hold his thoughts, yelling loudly, 揝o if there抯 no 慟ing Ming Da He Tu�, there抯 no antidote?�

Mei Da said, 揑f there抯 no wine, where does the antidote come from?�

The driver became very angry, wanting to run towards him.

But Li Xun Huan held him back, saying, 揗ei Da and we are strangers, so he has no obligation to give us the antidote. We already owe him some great wine. How can we still be so rude?�

揃ut young master you... you...�

Li Xun Huan waved his hand and smiled. 揑 think it抯 time for us to leave now.�

Who抎 have thought Mei Da would ask, 揧ou don抰 want the antidote?�

Li Xun Huan said, 揥e each have our own things. I never like to force people.�

Mei Da said, 揧ou do realize that without the antidote, you抮e dead.�

揕ife and death are decided by the heavens. I personally never cared much for it.�

Mei Da then stared at him again, saying, 揜ight. Right. If one can even give 慟ing Ming Da He Tu� to someone else, why would he care for his own life? People like this really are rare, Really are rare...�

He then yelled, 換i He, bring out the wine again.�

The driver instantly became happy again. 揝o what about the antidote?�

Mei Da looked at him for a second, then coldly said, 揘ow that there抯 wine, you抮e afraid there would be no antidote?�