Hi, my name is Alec Newman (ARN3wman on Twitch and Twitter). I am a PC gamer at heart and am an avid watcher of anime. This is my first attempt at writing so any feedback is greatly appreciated. I have been reading a lot of fan fiction lately and thought that I'd be able to fix some of the issues I find to be commonplace. The major ones being quality of writing, scaling, chapter length, story flow, and english quality. Please give feedback if any aspect of the story feels off. One request that I do have is that the feedback be given in a constructive manner. I am only looking to improve and want to use the advice which I am given to do so.
Now for some notes about the story. I had a hard time choosing which universe to write in. My choices were the Naruto Universe, Star Wars Extended Universe, some random magical world from an anime, or an original story. I decided that due to my extensive knowledge of it, that my first story will be written as a reincarnation isekai based in the Naruto Universe. This choice also gives me a lot of creative freedom, within reason, to create a unique and interesting story that I can have fun with. Using a poll from a discord server that I am in, I decided to include a system in this story to a.s.sist the MC in his journey. If the novel gets popular enough, I will try to engage you guys so that you can have some say in the direction of the story. This will include, but is not limited to, possible story arcs, characters to add, abilities, locations, and events. Despite this, there is one thing that I am going to keep my stance on: I WILL NOT WRITE A HAREM INTO THIS STORY. At most, there will be a monogamous relationship but that is not even guaranteed. Many characters in the Naruto Universe do not have any romance. However, there will probably be some kind of family so that I have the ability to keep the story going. If I keep with this, I plan to keep this story going for a long time and navigate through multiple generations of the Naruto Universe. There is, however, an important thing to take note of before reading this story. For the most part, I will do my best to stick to Canon. However, I can guarantee that there will be extreme deviations from the Canon story. This will include some major events (ex: Uzushiogakure falling, Kyuubi attack, Uchiha Ma.s.sacre, etc.) not occurring or being modified, supporting characters that have an impact on the story (ex: Jiraya, Neji Hyuga, Dan Kato, etc.) dying or surviving, addition of new content (abilities, bloodlines, jutsus, lore, villages, etc.), and possible altered personalities of various characters due to events being changed and the impact of other characters. THere is one last thing that I want to mention pertaining to the story. I will do my absolute best to keep this from being some generic, trashy, boring isekai about the Naruto Universe. There are a lot of these stories and some of them can be a bit boring due to the same old changes being made and a generic, overpowered MC. Due to the fact that there is a system to a.s.sist, the MC will obviously have the edge in developing his skills. However, the character that our MC will be reincarnating into is not overpowered in the first place. This will allow me to apply some buffs and still maintain balance in the world. I truly hope to be able to make this into a version of the Naruto Universe where Konoha is not on a G.o.dly plane while leaving all of the other villages in the dust. That would be generic and boring. I'll say it again, any feedback is appreciated. I want to get better at writing and creating a good story is a crucial part of that. Please tell me if something that I write is off or doesn't feel right.
Next, some notes for the writing style. I will try my best to establish clear indications of when a character is thinking and will probably write a majority of the work in first person based around the MC. In general, I will use single quotations to indicate thoughts and double quotations to indicate speech. The speech will be structured similar to that of a traditional book and follow standard english grammar. I will appreciate any feedback on grammar or spelling as I am definitely not perfect and nowhere close to experienced with this type of thing. In addition, I will include transliterations for some common j.a.panese phrases and speech patterns that are used. Some examples of this include "itadakimasu", "[insert name here] Sama", "hai", "sensei", "dono", etc. I will be sure to make sure that I clarify in a note for each phrase as to what it means. With this, I will also write names according to how they are said in j.a.panese (ex: "Uzumaki Naruto"). Since this is the Naruto Universe, one more thing is important to note. The way that jutsus/techniques are spelled out will vary. When the MC is reading or thinking about a jutsu or technique, it may be described using english (ex: "earth release"). However, I will ask that for other contexts, such as combat or dialogue, that you guys give me feedback on how you want it to be written. I will probably start by using the full j.a.panese transliteration and only translate the technique specific words. It will follow this example: "Doton: Doryuheki (Mud Wall)". After reading a lot of what other people have written, this is what I feel is the most comfortable way to read a jutsu/technique name. Thus, I decided to write them like this as well. If I find that a lot of you guys are suggesting that I do it some other way, I can poll and see how you guys want it to be.
Last, but definitely not least, this is going to be a hobby for me. It is not going to be something that I prioritize in my life over other things that are more important. I will do my best to upload consistently but there are no guarantees. With this work, I am shooting for quality over quant.i.ty. When I say quality, I mean that I want the writing to be top notch, the grammar and spelling to be to the best of my ability, and for the chapters to be as long as possible. The length of each chapter will vary based on the content. Some may be much longer and some may be really short. Due to these factors, please do not expect daily uploads of huge chapters. Once I fall into a groove, I will upload at as fast a pace as possible while maintaining the quality.
Thank you in advance for reading this. As I said, this is my first go at writing outside of academic a.s.signments. With that said, I am looking to only improve so constructive feedback is requested so that I can satisfy you guys to the max. I will also try to include short notes that will preface each chapter to fill you guys in on what is happening and any delays or changes that might occur. Also, follow me on Twitter and join my discord (I'll get it linked somewhere eventually). Enjoy the story!
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START READING HERE
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Main Character Information
Name: Senju Nawaki
Background:
Born to Senju Tetsuya (Random Senju Clan member) and Senju Toka (Senju Clan Head at start of story, daughter of Senju Hashirama and Uzumaki Mito)Younger brother of Senju TsunadeMore detail will be gone into throughout the story so keep your eyes peeledThe rest will be a mystery for now but periodically, the system will be used to provide a status
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Map of Konohagakure that is used
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/31/07/80/31078076bac9b2df2a9338682e116602.jpg
Map of Main Continent that is used
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f4/f3/04/f4f3044629f48215de63304e3fc5c764.jpg
*Additional maps may be added here if more locations are added in the future*
Without further adieu, let's get into the story. :D
