I stood at the cliff, watching the soaring fire below me. I could see nothing but sorrows and despair.
I could vaguely hear the rumbling of thunder in the sky; I could feel the ground trembling under my feet. I wasn’t sure if it were the flame gushing up underneath the ground.
When I turned around, I saw Li Jing standing behind me with a red lantern in her hand. She was looking at me like she was telling me, “My king, I’m here to bring you home…”
That moment I cried, maybe I could finally behave like a kid in front of Li Luo because she would always give in to me and give me warmth.
The wind was blowing Li Jing’s hair and in the wind, I could see the purest blue strand within them. I walked over to hold her hand. “Let’s go back.”
“My king, I hope you can go back to Ren Xue Cheng. Li Jing and I will stay to guard this place because the city and you are the lifelines for the entire Ice Kingdom but not us.” Jian Tong said softly, looking at me.
“How can you say that?” I walked towards Jian Tong. “I have already lost many important people in my life. Jian Tong and you are my everything. The two of you are the most important persons in my life so I will not go back.”
“My king, you have to go back because you have to defend the city and it is also the safest place.”
“Since it’s safe, the two of you should go back with me.”
“It’s impossible, my king. If we were to retreat back, it will give the enemy a chance to catch up with us. Li Jing and I will stay here to defend so that you can go back safely.”
“No way! If we want to go back, we will go back together.”
“My king…”
“Don’t need to say anymore.” I turned around, wanted to leave when I saw Li Jing.
“Li Jing, I will not leave the two of you here. I will stay by your side. Okay?”
And then I saw Li Jing’s gentle smile, and she nodded head.
I left the place with her; I could hear Jian Tong’s sigh behind me.
Just when I walked past Li Jing, I felt someone hitting my right shoulder. I felt a sharp pain before losing my consciousness. Right before I fell to the ground, I saw the tear in Li Jing’s eyes.
—
By the time I woke up, I found myself being sent back to Ren Xue Cheng.
I stood at the highest city wall and saw the fire glowing not faraway from the city. I knew that Li Tian Jin had already led his fire elves over. But where would Li Jing and Jian Tong be?
I walked back to the grand hall and saw several people there. A young sorcerer told me that many people had escaped. None of them would think that this war was be victorious. Even I didn’t think that it would be a victory. I could see Li Tian Jin’s skills from many dreams; they were something that I could never fight against.
The sound of footstep could be heard from outside, and then I saw a soldier full of blood running into the grand hall. I saw the sad expression on his young face. He opened his hands and I saw two dreams on his palms.
Giddiness. .h.i.t me and I fell to my throne.
I knew that Li Jing and Jian Tong were gone.
—
Nightmare.Li Jing.Yu Yuan
“My king, I thought I could never see you again but when I saw you at the snow fog forest, I almost cried. Those past memories came rushing at me like flying snow and I had forgotten the speech. I remembered the flying starlight in the sky; I liked hiding at the sh.o.r.e of the Ice Sea, watching your lonely figure on the roof, watching the starlight dancing on your hair like silk laces. I liked seeing your long robe flying in the wind like a beautiful lotus.”
“But my king, the name that you called me was actually Li Luo. I am Lan Sang, the Lan Sang who committed suicide because of you.”
“At that moment, I was so upset so my tear couldn’t stop flowing down.
But I know this is all my fault because I cannot become the woman that you loves the most in the past life.”
“My king, when I was still Lan Sang, I kept thinking about your face when I commit suicide; I wanted to become the woman that you love the most in life but I know you met Li Luo first and she’s kind and beautiful. I feel so sad everytime I thought of her being buried at the deepest part of Ice Sea. She is such a kind person.”
“I don’t blame Ying Kong Shi because I know he love you just like I did because his love had surpa.s.sed simple kinship love and it was so strong and desperate. Just like how his favourite cherry blossoms wither at the end of spring.”
“After my reincarnation, I knew that my wish had been fulfilled - I have become the woman that you loved the most in the past life. I looked exactly like Li Luo but I wasn’t sure if I was lucky or unlucky. I only knew that I was very sad when you called me Li Luo.”
“Every night I would always wait for your return, I like waiting for you in the night. When I saw you appearing out of the darkest night, I felt so blissful and happy because I made you feel that there’s someone waiting for you.”
“And it is a kind of happiness when you know that there’s someone waiting for you.”
“I always have this silly thought that this is happiness because Ka Suo has been waiting for me for several hundreds year and he was still waiting for me to grow up in this new life. I am such a blissful person.”
“You may think this it is funny but I hope that you can be happy because you are such a kind and faithful person but you are always surrounded by sadness and sorrows. My king, do you still remember what your brother told you? ‘Ge, please be free.’”
“My king, when you were asleep, I could always hear your low breathing sound but your brows were always knitted together. It made one feel that you were a child being hurt.”
“You are always so strong and determined in front of others but before me, I could see your soft side. I would always see your teary eyes and it made me feel sad.”
“This is why I can only wait for you to be back, waiting for your warmth.”
“My king, my past life may be the mermaid from the deep sea palace and my ability to manipulate water may be strong but I never like any of them. Instead, I think being a half-blood woman like Li Luo is able to give you the warmest love. This is why I rather become a woman like Li Luo than a powerful illusionist because I can give you the warmest love.”
“My king, I was unable to talk this life so I was unable to tell you that I am the little Lan Sang that has been waiting for you for several hundreds. years; I was unable to tell you how sad was I when you call me Li Luo. But even if I were able to talk, I wouldn’t tell you that I am Lan Sang. If I had done so many things and given you so many hints, you still wouldn’t know who was I. Hence I see no point in telling you.”
“But I still have to leave, my king.”
“The moment when I died in Li Tian Jin’s hand, I was sad not because of my diminishing life. I thought of something - I could no longer hold the light for you, would you be sad?”
“Because there isn’t any light in the dark; I’m worried that you will be liked a kid, being lost in the dark.”
“My king, if there’s next life, I still want to hold the light to wait for you to be home.”
“My king, I have to leave now but can I request you to continue to stay strong because there’s someone waiting to reunite with you. You possess their memories in you.”
—
Nightmare.Jian Tong.Invisible Mist
“I’ve finally become a pure blood woman, becoming a mermaid with strong spiritual power.”
“But I’ve lost Ka Suo’s love.”
“During my last life, I didn’t manage to live together with Ka s...o...b..cause I was the lowly half blood sorceress. I didn’t have the strong powers of a mermaid from the deep sea palace so I was unable to produce powerful descendants for him and it was also why I was being buried at the deepest part of the Ice Sea. That cold place that no fish would even appear. I could still remember how bone piercing the coldness was to my skin; my life was flowing away bit by bit and I could feel the fear of my soul leaving my body.”
“I looked at the sky above the water when the weak sunlight sipped through the water, I tried calling out for king but I knew he wouldn’t be able to hear me nor would he know where was I. I thought of Ka Suo’s face when sorrow was always hanging on it and he would continue to live on, following his destiny.”
“And then my life disappeared into the Ice Sea. Just when my life was about to disappear, a large group of deep sea fishes came surrounding me and I could see their glowing scales.”
“My name’s Jian Tong. This is the name of my reincarnated self. When I got discovered by the elders from the deep sea palace, I was being wrapped within thick seaweeds. The moment they started opening the seaweeds, they found me sleeping within it.”
“They didn’t know why and neither did I know why until many years later. The place where they found me was the place that I got buried within.”
“I’ve finally understood the cruelty of the unpredictable life.”
“When I was still a little kid that time, my mind was always on Ka Suo. I’ve always heard a voice telling that I have to become Ka Suo’s wife. I want to marry the greatest king of Ren Xue Cheng.
This voice just kept appearing in my dream and life like an irresistible summon.
But when I reached adulthood that time, I’ve finally realized the meaning of this summon because it wanted me to get closer to Ka Suo. To get closer to the man that possessed my several hundreds years of memories on him and also to get closer to the warmth that I yearned the most in my past life.
I’ve finally gotten closer to him, standing in front of him, tearing. But he called me Lan Sang instead.
I cried.
I guessed he must have forgotten about the Li Luo that stood at the end of the street, kneeling before him. "My king, I’m here to bring you home.”
After that I became his concubine. My spiritual power was definitely much stronger than my past life and I could easily read the dreams that the officials had brought back. I could interpret the dreams and tell them what to do next and I could lighten Ka Suo’s burden as well.
Actually I felt tired but everytime when I saw Ka Suo’s beautiful smile in my dreams, I felt happy because he was a sorrowful guy. A guy that would worry for the entire world but not him. The palace maids told me that he would always sleep on his desk in the grand hall.
I always wanted to do something for him because I didn’t manage to accompany him in the past life. I needed to make up to him.
Everytime he would smile at me and told me gently. “Jian Tong, don’t overwork yourself.”
I would just smile back at him and I could see my silvery white hair in his eyes. Swinging in his eyes like ripples on the water, it was like the snowing day when I first met him in the past life.
Several years after I married Ka Suo, he married another woman and she became his first wife. She possessed the same look of my past life and I heard Ka Suo calling her, “Li Luo.”
I stood among the crowd, feeling extremely sad. Big drops of tear came falling down onto the red carpet that they walked past hand in hand.
The bells chimed and I heard people giving their blessings to the couple and cheers were roaring above my head. I was like lying underneath a stream, leading the flowing water above my head so quietly.
From then onwards, I have been staying in the grand hall alone, helping Ka Suo to settle those long and miscellaneous dreams, listing to all the officials’ requests and depleting my spiritual power. On the other hand, Ka Suo would go back to his palace because Li Jing would be waiting for him to come home. He said he was afraid that she would be cold while waiting in the wind.
I looked at his diminishing back and felt so upset because I didn’t know what to say. I could only continue to read the dreams and deplete my spiritual power. I just wanted to become a powerful woman that could lighten Ka Suo’s burden.
But I wasn’t sure if Ka Suo ever thought about me being cold and alone in this big grand hall or not.
I guessed the whole of my life would be given to Ka s...o...b..cause I loved him. Because he deserved all the happiness he should deserve. Everytime if I were to see his sorrowful face, I would think of his smile. It was like sunshine, so clear and bright.
In the end I still died for Ka Suo, dying in the hand of the new Prince of the Fire Tribe. Li Tian Jin’s power was much more powerful than I could expect. I always thought the mermaids were powerful people but now I’ve discovered that no matter how much power I used, I would never be able to win Li Tian Jin. He’s born to be the pet of the heaven.
Right before I died, I saw his smile. It was so blurry and evil like the everlasting red lotus of the Fire Tribe. He just held his hand up towards me and then I felt my body rising into the air like there’s a hand lifting me up from the ground.
I saw the red light flashing past Li Tian Jin’s eyes as he told me this. “Jian Tong, the clouds are full of souls.”
He closed his fingers and then I felt a tearing pain in my body. At that moment I saw my head flying up into the sky, I saw my mutilated body lying all over the place. Pure white blood was spreading across the black earth like melting snow.
The entire surrounding started to get blurry; I saw Ka Suo’s face in the sky, it was still so sorrowful like before and he was still calling me, “Lan Sang, Lan Sang.”
I wanted to tell him that I was Li Luo. That Li Luo that brought him home several hundreds years ago. Sorrows came gushing up my chest. “Ka Suo, why didn’t you know who am I even when I’m dying? Don’t you have any feeling?”
Ka Suo’s face disappeared and then I heard the sound of my head dropping to the ground.
I wanted to talk to Ka s...o...b..t I couldn’t talk anymore.
I wanted to tell him, “No matter what happen, please continue to stay strong because there is someone waiting to reunite with you. You possess all the memories of that person in you.”
