31 Future Things

‘I’m sorry Fredericka, could you move away a bit?’ he said, hiding his face with his other hand.

Did I do something wrong?

I pulled away.

Volker seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Volker, are you alright? He looked a bit disgusted (Zuben: with himself) and didn’t look me in the eye.

‘Okay, it will settle soon.’ He said with an awkward laugh. (Zuben: Little Volker is trying to eat you or is it get eaten?)

He looked somewhat strange. Did he not realise he was not feeling well? Or was he someone who didn’t tell you they were ill?

My worry overrode my nervousness. Without thinking I was in front of Volker, touching his cheeks, his forehead and his neck. His face was red, the temperature was high, did he have a fever?

‘F-Fredericka?’

‘Is something wrong with your body? Do you hurt, you seem feverish, are you feeling dizzy?’

Since he had such a busy work, he mustn’t have had time to rest. I’m sorry if you overworked yourself because of me.

‘No I’m okay.’

He’s lying. Volker was lying to me. He looked away when he said that. He was so easy to read!

I held his face in my hands and turned him to me, ‘Please look at me directly, and tell me. If you like to me, I will get mean.’

I don’t want him to lie to me. I’d want to be able to talk about anything with Volker. I want to be like my father and mother, you can make up with each other after you quarrel.  Being able to say things to each other that may be hard to hear or say. Was I strange?

No it wasn’t. We were going to be family…We were now a couple! (Zuben: Go Freddie…hehehehe)

‘What do you mean by “mean”?’ he asked.

Well, I haven’t really thought about it. How did I end up here?! Is it because I’ve never been mean? There had once been a stray cat in the garden. I managed to get a hold of it for cuddles, but it’s cries were like it was the end of its world.

‘Fredericka, I’m going to kiss you even if you get embarra.s.sed.’ He said with his face a bit scary. (Zuben: Actually he says, I’m going to kiss you even if you don’t like it, which I think is a bit iffy so I changed it)

I wanted to say something to make him laugh, but Volker’s face approached mine. His hazel eyes were half closed as his lips touched mine. He pulled and back held my face in his big hands.

Are you going back because I didn’t close my eyes? I wondered about his actions.

But he tilted his head and came in again. When should I close my eyes?! We’re kissing again. Volker’s lips are surprisingly soft. He licked my lips. Why was he licking my lips? Now he was probing my lips, was it a sign I should open my mouth? Really?

Volker pulled back and looked at me with a heated half lidded eyes.

Oh my, what a s.e.xy face.

I love him so much!

 I opened my mouth.

I was on his knees again, and it was perfect.

Volker smiled happily with his lips against my hair.

Oh, I didn’t know kissing could make you tired. I think my tongue got swollen.

The Royal Guard seems to be well versed in lots of different things, aren’t they?

(Zuben: Oh Fredericka)

Zuben: So many exclamation marks and ellipses. It’s like everyone is in a state of hysteria. Even Volker. 

32 The Man’s Jealousy (Zuben: Again)

‘Fredericka, I want you to tell me truthfully…’

‘Yes…?’

I was resting on his shoulder feeling rather floaty. My tongue was still funny, I could still speak, right?

‘With Eugene Cajés, did you do things like this…?’

‘Eh?’

Did he mean, sitting on the lap and kissing and hugging? Not even once. He didn’t like me as a woman, or as a girlfriend. In public, he barely let me hold his arm, and he pretended to kiss me. I hadn’t been believable as his fiancé. I wonder if I had been hated. It made me feel as though I had no charm as a woman. It was like exposing I was regarded as attractive (Zuben: Volker already gave you flowers that said so)

‘I don’t know what to do…’ Volker said taking my silence as confirmation. He was smiling weirdly.

No, it is a misunderstanding!

‘No please don’t misunderstand! Volker is my first kiss. Volker is the first person I’ve sat on his lap. Eugene hated me.’

I could not bear it if he had the wrong idea.

‘He didn’t want to be close to me when we were out together. If my chest hit his arm, he got angry…’

Volker looked puzzled about what I was saying,

‘…what is wrong with your b.r.e.a.s.t.s?’ he asked looking down at my chest. Rather than from afar, his hot gaze was put up close to my chest. I wasn’t wearing a low cut dress today, luckily. Was it vulgar for a girl to tell a story of her breast? (Zuben: Not if it is to the man who loves you)

Volker’s hand began to move. Volker what are you doing? (Zuben: Say it out loud, Fredericka) The hands that had been holding my back began to move around my side and up to under my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

‘Volker, what is…?’

‘I’m sorry Fredericka, I’m a jealous guy. I find the existence of any man who had touched you before me frustrating.’ (Zuben: ero oyaji, you didn’t know her then)

Volker squeezed and lifted my b.r.e.a.s.t.s from the bottom.

‘Ah~’

I tried to escape, but his hands kept my close. Should I tell him Eugene’s remarks were not nice? But I don’t mind the touching, but even so don’t rub it so much!

‘Volker…I’m already yours – oh~ even if I don’t touch you, you can touch me when you want…’

(Zuben: Fredericka, you are laying yourself on a platter like a roast turkey.)

Has the purpose deviated somewhat? (Zuben: Well…)

Volker’s secret movements have stopped.

‘Fredericka, you are…’

Did it get worse? Volker who lost his works had a frown on his face. Oh his hazel eyes are so beautiful. (Zuben: I dunno if I should say; get a hold of yourself girl!)

He was kissing me again. Harder than the last time. His hot tongue was rubbing against mine. I wanted to get away because it began to ache but I was hugged tightly against his chest. I wanted to push him away with my tongue but it got caught and sucked. It was the opposite effect.

‘Fu~ a~’

Did they train their tongue in the Royal Guard? I definitely couldn’t win against the general, but would it not be more painful to give up and go with the flow? I thought I should wait a bit till Volker calmed down.

It was a mistake.

In the end, my lips were swollen and it was so embarra.s.sing when everyone joined returned to us. That being said, Volker was so sweet and cute, that I forgive him. (Zuben: Bulldozed!)

33 The World Is Uninhibited

Father submitted our marriage application. Originally, I wanted to go with Volker, but it seems that the House was pretty rough. That being said it was approved according to procedure.

I think I have become more like a fiancée. With meeting Volker more often, I’ve gotten used to the kissing and touching. I don’t know what other fiancés do but there is no comparison to my time with Eugene.

Actually, I received a letter of condemnation from Prince Stefan because I hadn’t come to play. I quickly made my way to the Palace and apologised. Stefan is a real tsundere!

According to his aides, he wanted someone to chat with freely while he had his tea time break.

So it was a novel experience to go to the Palace and say ‘I’ve come to play.’ But the other party is royalty it’s difficult to adjust. Maybe it’s better to wear a cat. (Zuben: ?)

Since he was a difficult royal-sama, today I am bringing presents of a rustic apple pie and cupcakes from a reputable and fashionable confectioners.

The Crown Prince had a sweet tooth so we had lots of sweet snacks at tea time.

He was very busy, so we had our appointments during his afternoon tea time. I headed to the designated place. It was at a terrace facing the back gardens today. On my way, I was walking by a secluded courtyard when I heard a familiar voice.

Volker?

I went to a pillar that enclosed the walk and I saw Volker leaning against a wall. It was unusual for me to see him while I was in the Palace. I was about to approach him and say h.e.l.lo when I realised he wasn’t alone.

There was someone else; someone I didn’t know.

The man had a queue of long chestnut hair down his back. He was laughing. Is it a funny story? Volker’s voice was low.

Although it was unbecoming of me, I sneaked closer.

‘You’re engaged but haven’t had s.e.x? Are you hesitating because Fredericka is young?’

s.e.x…?

‘No…but, I’m worried because she’s so small.’

They must be friends.

‘Well, you can’t help the pain the first time, but it will be fine from the next time.’

Well, I say! This seems to be about the so-called de-flowering.

I wonder about that. I think I made a mistake in judgement coming here! I should have got their attention, but I was too shy!

‘I don’t want to hurt Fredericka for my pleasure.’ He said kicking the gra.s.s petulantly in a huff. It was the first time I’ve seen him behave like that.

‘Just let her get used to it and you. You know, fingers and tongue, or you can use perfumes or cream.’ Volker’s friend said moving his fingers. It looked rather obscene. What to do?!

‘I don’t think I will be able to endure. I will probably lose my head.’ Volker muttered. He looked so nervous. He was so cute!

‘Just let her lose her head. Make her o.r.g.a.s.m two or three times, it will be fine.’

This person is so annoying! Too extreme!

‘Oh I don’t know...’ Volker began to say when someone called him from afar.

‘I’m on my way,’ he replied. He was probably on a break from training or something.

He turned to his friend and said, ‘No more time, I have to go. We’ll talk later.’

He left.

I breathed out. I didn’t know men talked to each other about things like this. I put my hands on my cheeks to cool them down when a voice said, ‘h.e.l.lo, nice to meet you.’

‘Oh my…!’

‘Volker’s head if full of you, so he didn’t notice. He didn’t even listen to me…’

His friend leaned against the wall across from my hiding place.

He was not wearing a uniform,

‘I am Darryl Breslin, the Western General.’ He said introducing himself and holding out his hand. He looked rather gentle for a soldier. (Zuben: The reason they met)

I wondered whether it was alright to shake hands with him, but then it would be rude not to take the hand offered.

‘Fredericka Castley, I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’ He said.

I placed my hand in his. My hand is very small, I thought.

‘I wasn’t uncomfortable, but I think Volker-sama would be embarra.s.sed if he knew I was here.’ I replied with a laugh.

General Breslin laughed too. He looked pleasant; Volker seems to have good friends.

‘Good, you must do your best!’ he said laughing.

Uuuun, why?

♢ When...?